Tuesday, 22 March 2016

the sunday session 12 - hello stranger

right, i am going straight into business. fucken hell - 8 great outfits, one to debrief and a story. where do i start.
fave outfit of the week -- was it the top i wore twice? no. was it the chance to wear a puffer? no - that means goodbye to the warm weather. was it the shorty short kaftan? sorry for flashing, but no. vintage dress? warm and on par with the shiny flowery pink number, but i am drawn to the 1980's white blouse and the jeans.  it's just soooooo not me in 2016, but i loved the regalness of it.  it was a vintage find just sitting on the hanger waiting for some unsuspecting nearly 50 year old woman to walk by and appreciate its beauty knowing that it had made an appearance in a fashion lovers paradise last century but was still looking hot.

i teamed it with some boyfriend jeans from target which i rolled up and my men's shoes sans socks along with vintage mis matching pearl clip on earrings. it felt good, it looked good and it was my winning look of the week. now fashion is out of the way, it's time for a story...

when i moved to melbourne one of my friends who reads my blog said that i could be just like Carrie from Sex and the City and share my single city adventures.   Well, i have had a couple - really 2 but none that involve the lessons of love that Carrie would share.  And when i did write a story about being single in my new city, it was met with the broken hearted record that i had to listen to for so many months.  that record soon changed when a tinder match opened a door for the record player to change tracks - rather quickly and move on.  each to their own.

what i am so grateful for, is that i have had time to reflect, grow, grieve, release, consider, reconnect with me (the woman who was suffocating) and just enjoy my new life being me, while finding my rhythm without needing someone by my side to do it.  it's been very liberating and as each day goes on, i just feel more confident, more at ease and more free.  the free is delicious. it's like ordering your favourite anything with a side of free. you want it, you got it.... fucking enjoy it.

i know there was the whole fortune teller thing and that was awkward cause she said i had to search out love and i know there's been the past online dating horrors and it doesn't take long to get up to speed in the whole dating lingo - between the catfish and the fuckboys, it's like speaking a second language.

i discovered a number of instagram accounts that pave the way for women to have their voice when they have the audacity to say no or reject a man online.  i've been on the receiving end of this. oh god you are so gorgeous.....thanks, but i am really not interested in engaging further.......well fuck off fat bitch....if you ain't feeling it then it should be ok.  this is the reality for women in a world where men are more physically overpowering in the flesh and not okay and with virtual rejection. sorry ego. this at least gives us a voice of solidarity. this is not about power, it's about being able to say no, without retribution, because you have said no.  it's okay to say no. and it's brilliant to be able to voice the no on sites such as tinder nightmares and one of my favourites bye felipe, who also have a podcast.  i started listening and i've started learning more about the online dating world. it's the new reality, it's a thing, it's always going to be a thing. i'm not sure if it's always a great thing cause it's become transactional. i for one don't care for short term deposits and transactions and i am sure there are going to be men out there like me who feel the same. well i hope so. this is the future of any person finding themself with a busy life, working hard and looking for a companion. it's an online mine field.

i went out on sunday with a stranger.  yes a bonafide stranger. it was a him, it was his idea and i felt comfortable enough to say yes. we met online, shared some messages (after a bumpy start) but i actually felt okay about it.  there was grilling of course - cause there are some lines that the sisterhood just doesn't cross and there was a natural flowing engagement that i enjoyed.

of course, there has to be that moment when you decide to meet for realsies and ladies, do it sooner rather than later - rip that fucking band-off and let nature takes its course.

i did it and it don't regret it for one minute.

i agreed to pick him up (the stranger) and he agreed to take my ootd photo on sunday. i would normally never do such a thing, but my gut feeling was totally okay about it (what would my mother say).  today was only ever going to be coffee and conversation (for me anyway)

we drove to an out of the way location and he got to choose the backdrop.  i''d never seen this wall, but this was my kind of backdrop.  i am sure the decision was not about the act, but about the creative. i went with it.  he got to be the photographer, i got too be the model. win win.
after this, it was coffee and conversation and it flowed - i had awkward nervous - cause i don't ever do this....we ordered the same brekky - coffee and croissant, we both shared stories - creative, adventure, family, food.

we didn't end it there, we went to the gallery and we saw the warhol exhibition.  we took silly photos, we talked, we had fun - it was fun.  i like fun - he liked fun. it was fun fun
 
 we  shared a plate of food and we said goodbye.
this was just what the doctor ordered. i was out of my comfort zone, he got to be janergized (who doesn't love that).  i got to enjoy something that i have never experienced before and for me it was great.  i felt comfortable letting the guard down to speak and i hope he feels comfortable knowing that not all women are going to turn up on the doorstep after one meeting declaring undying love. how creepy is that....

so i guess this was a sex and the city moment - i wasn't being samantha, charlotte, miranda or carrie, i was just being me, i wasn't overthinking, i had no expectations, i was doing what i wanted to do, being in the now and embracing or declining whatever was to come.  that meant really stepping out of my comfort zone.

and with this i thank him for opening up a side of me that i never knew existed and a confidence i never knew i had. thank you. it was a yesman moment. #yesman

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