365 days on the alcohol free road

This time last year, I did the unthinkable......the unimaginable................the unfathomable.................. one of the most anti-social, un-Australian things you could ever do. I decided to stop drinking alcohol.  GASP.  Well, I wasn't sure I meant to give up alcohol, but it seems I have. I think. I am pretty sure I have....I am living alcohol free.  I don't drink.

What happened was a kind of unintentional and yet really positive life changing experience and for a culture that seems to revolve around drinking, I feel like I am paving my own way and beating my own drum when it comes to doing what I want to do, not what I am expected to do to fit in with the norms of society.  And drinking - and usually by quantity - is a social norm.  I have challenged the norm and here I am 365 days later with a brand new normal.

Over a 30 day journey, my whole relationship with, and view of alcohol changed. I was someone who enjoyed a drink. I loved the social aspect of it and I liked the taste of it and I liked the feeling that came with having a few drinks. A drink for me was coming home from work and having a couple of glasses of wine and maybe a baileys, or having a few drinks if I went out on the weekend or any of the occasions that relate to drinking - work drinks, dates, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera....people drink to celebrate anything and drink to celebrate nothing.

Over a month, I probably drank about this much and it looks a lot, but it is a calculation that I figured covered any possible drinking scenario. I've included it all - the wine, the shots, the cocktails, the beers, the bubbles, the g&t's and the whatever else's that made up the social and unsocial norm.

I would have a drink or two every night, just like millions of others would.  What I found though, was that one glass was turning into another and some days I'd wake up feeling not as fresh as I wanted to.  I'd often thought about not having a drink at night, but it became a case of why not.  It's only a glass or 2 of wine. She'll be right mate.

When my son moved back home to deal with an over the counter pain killer addiction, I found myself thinking more and more about his situation and wanting to understand what addiction was so I could be in a better position to support him.  And that's how this journey began.

Was coming home every night and having a few glasses of another type of over the counter medication setting a good example?  When I look at it that way, no it wasn't.  But it was only a drink or two, right?  Wine time is big business and it comes with its own set of nasty side effects - addiction, aggression, over-dosing and even death - no different then any other drug.

I actually hated the thought of not having a glass of wine at night.  It was like a familiar friend. And as a single woman in her early 50's living by herself, I was in the statistic range of problem drinkers and I had a bit of a holy fuck moment. How do I not have a drink?  How do I break up with a friend I had known for many years who I had shared so many life experiences with? And I am being totally honest, the thought of that kind of scared me a little, especially as I reflect on it now.

Was I a problem drinker?  I am not sure.  What I am sure of though, is that the thought of drinking never entered my mind till I walked in the door at night, or when I was at whatever social event it was that I was involved in. It would come up in conversation but it was never something that filled my thoughts or consumed me.  I liken it to a pie chart....

 

That small amount of green was when I consumed alcohol during the week or on the weekend.  The others times were when I was sleeping, or at work or the general daytime and alcohol wasn't on the radar. I work in a job that has a zero alcohol policy, so it was just not relevant. The window of consumption was very small, but if I was doing something social, the level of consumption could be quite big. I could keep up with the best of them.

When someones life revolves around their next drink at anytime of the day, I think that's a big pie problem. I'm not one to eat a whole pie, so the small piece of the pie I was consuming got me thinking about whether I really needed or wanted it and the timing of my son's arrival seemed to lock in the decision.  Pie was off the menu.

I'd stumbled across this book in an op shop.  It cost me 2 bucks and apart from understanding the mechanics and effects of drinking, it has been a game changer for me in other aspects of my life.  I guess somewhere in my brain, I was thinking about making change.  After all, how long can we keep waking up of a morning feeling cloudy or having your day written off because you partied super hard and your ability to function is compromised? Well for me, I committed to changing that aspect of my life on 21 February 2017 when I stepped into the unknown.  I remind myself that a decision is made in a moment.  And I made the decision.

 

And what did the unknown look like? Well I didn't know, but I soon found that by acknowledging that I wanted to make change, committing to it, proudly owning the decision and seeing it through meant the unknown was not a scary place.  It became a joyous ride into self discovery.

As I went through the 30 day journey, my eyes were well and truly opened as to what the effects of drinking are on yourself and the impact it can have on others even when you think it might not. The more I got into the journey, the more enthusiastic I became about seeing my future life with a different kind of freedom.  The freedom of not being attached in any way shape or form to alcohol - something that had been a part of my life for such a long time. 

It became extremely liberating. Was this the 2017 version of burning your bra and taking the next step as an empowered free woman?   I can go ANYWHERE with anyone and not have to have alcohol, or rely on it to give me some dutch courage or do it because everyone else is, or drink something that I hate the taste of.  I am free baby!  Everything I do, is me, being my authentic pure self.

So what now, 365 days on...well in no particular order
I feel amazing. I never even think about alcohol. I am using that money for different stuff. My time is more purposeful. I am not missing out on ANYTHING. I always have a clear head. I feel amazing. My weekends are fuller and not of sleep or blur.  I feel safer knowing that I am not intoxicated in anyway when I am out. My social interactions with men aren't risky and as a single woman I am in total control of every action I take part in. I like to say "I don't drink" (like I am part of a cool club). I feel fresh. I feel amazing.......should I go on!  Look at my booze pie now....what a freaken LEGEND.  It says so in the legend.

So what else? Well along the 30 day journey I really looked at who I was.  I had some moments of closure (one giant moment of closure actually - the closure of the wine bottles) and many moments where I opened my thinking to new possibilities and opportunities.   

When I started documenting my journey, we had to take a before and after photo.  Here's me when I started the journey.

 Me after 30 days.

 And me, a year later.

I've always been comfortable exploring and doing things out of my comfort zone and this was a big step outside of it.  Could I go 30 days without alcohol? Could I go one day without it? Would I struggle at all? Would I be okay being a bit of an outcast in a world that revolved around booze? Well, I am totally fine and I guess to sum it up, when I think about my pie chart, the majority of my day was spent alcohol free, so why not make it all alcohol free?  I am still the same person, Actually I am probably even better.

And what next?  Well I have had quite an amazing life journey and one that has inspired others to think differently, to challenge the normal, to be fearless, to accept only the best, and to know your worth in a time that it sometimes isn't easy.  Part of this journey has been about setting goals and actions, visualising my future and closing in on my purpose.  And as I connect more with others, it's my ability to communicate that I see as being the thing that I want to explore and use to see if I can make a difference to those who may find themself treading water, or doubting their decisions, or needing a little push to follow things they are passionate about but don't know where to start or seeing that it's possible to make change even in the hardest of times.  I want to give back all of the wonderful things I have been empowered with.

When I started on my 30 day journey last year I wrote about it each day. I think it's still relevant and it's still current and the topic is becoming more a discussion point in mainstream sources.  The link to my 30 day journey is here if you wish to check it out. Maybe you are thinking about this as something that you want to try and if so, then go for it. You might find down the track that your life has taken a whole different direction because you made a choice to consider the possibility of doing something so far from your norm that it kind of surprises you when you see how good it is.

Alcohol is driven by advertising and how great life is when you are enjoying a few pina coladas on the beach. But the reality is that after a few pina coladas things may not always end up as the commercial tells you it will but we'd like to believe that it does. And with alcohol, I've seen the nasty, I've been part of it and it's not all that pretty, so why would I want to put myself in any position that leads me to believe that the perfect sunset must be enjoyed with wine in hand.

I could go on and on about how I am so happy with this lifestyle choice, but I think it's kind of obvious, so that's it for the alcohol free journey.  This is my normal and I'm a poster girl for courage, possibility and freedom from being tied to something that wasn't enhancing my life.

I don't drink.  I love saying that.

the Melbourne Walking tour I had to take

Sunday was a most glorious Melbourne winter's day and mine started with having to be at the clock on Flinders Street Station for a date....not that kind of date, but a date to see the city through someone elses eyes.  If you are going to meet someone in Melbourne, then under the clock is the place that first comes to mind when you decide to sync watches for a planned adventure.

 

I'm coming up to my 2 year anniversary of being in Melbourne, so I think I can take on the title of now being a Melbourner - even though I haven't adopted the much loved black clothing, I think I am fitting in and bringing my own flavour to this city and starting to sprinkle my "Janergy" around.  I've done a lot of walking, but no walking tours since moving here, although the chocolate walking tour really really appeals to me. Yum.

When I saw this one come up in my social media feed, I literally jumped at the chance to get my shoes on, grab my camera and join in. This was no ordinary walking tour (I'm sure none of them are ordinary), because this one was being done by Chris Cincotta, who most people know as the face behind the faces of Humans in Melbourne and Melbourne I Love You, both of which bring me and thousands of others joy when we see his photos and get inspired and behind the stories he shares, which we all then share to spread the love. These were some of the first accounts I started following when I moved here as they really made me feel connected to the city.

 

As someone who loves wandering the laneways and arcades of Melbourne, I knew that Chris would be able to share some great history and stories of the city, especially the artists whose works take residence.  Chris also does many great things and is involved in paving the way to make change on a real genuine level for so many people and his creative thinking, enthusiasm and care for others is beautiful to watch and to now be a part of, as I was lucky enough to be on his first ever Melbourne tour.

Of course I don't want to give too much away in case you decide to go, but I loved every minute of it. The group was small and ranged from a guy who had been in Melbourne for only 2 months, to people who had a history with Chris and wanted to be part of his new history. The weather was chilly, so he even lent a jacket to someone who was feeling the cold as we were waiting to start. That's the kind of guy he is.

First stop was Degraves St, which is part of my usual route to the city as I love to stroll up Flinders, turn the corner and see what awaits.  It's also home to the well known orange vespa at Clementines, a place that sells locally crafted products. We dropped in to say hi and were given a little gift that was specific to the city postcode of 3000. It created quite a buzz with the group.

 

We then headed to Centre Place which is a laneway full of energy and a hive of activity. Here Chris shouted us all coffee at 3 Little Monkeys, (the second place in on the right) and the caffeine flowed, as did the friendliness of the group and the coffee shop.  I'm keen to go back and enjoy a coffee there and just enjoy the laneway vista cause I hear from a good source that this is where the locals hang out during the week and guess who is a local?

 

Next stop was the Soup Place where the pay it forward mantra is alive and very very real.  Pick up your lunch, buy some for someone else in need and leave a post it on the wall so it can be claimed.  The place is jam packed with post its containing messages from those who are being so giving. There are a couple of big containers on the counter where the post its get put once someone has enjoyed the meal given by another and those bowls were at overflowing.  Having a roof over my head, water, warmth and food are things I don't take for granted, so for people to have access to this basic need without judgement or questioning is just fantastic. It would be awesome if these post its made their way into a giant art installation somewhere as a reminder of how generous the people who live and visit the city are.

Onward we strolled, coffee in hand hearing stories and learning more about Melbourne's people, history and culture. We also got to see where Chris has taken some of his amazing photos which he sells in his booth on the corner of Bourke and Swanston.

  

There's something to be said about finding out where the best public amenities are as well...and not being in a group of people where an umbrella is held up to ensure that no one loses the guide.  Chris ensured we were always in sight but without the pressure of feeling like we had to stick close by.  We could wander, observe, take photos at leisure, stop and chat and enjoy as we just moved and flowed without feeling rushed.

 

  

 

We walked through the Block and Royal Arcade's as we headed towards the Bourke Street Mall and made our way to Elizabeth Street, where we were entertained, and I was in awe of the violinist who was busking.  He was amazing and has been asked to play with Mumford and Sons and that's a pretty big honour. Chris also shared with us the story of the Golden Purse at the bottom end of the mall and the enormity that is the busking scene in Melbourne. After having this little sit down and a musical intermission, we headed in search of laneway art and Union Lane was first spray can off the shelf.

 

After this, we headed towards Swanston St where the film clip for the AC/DC hit It's a long way to the top was made in 1976. Oh my god, I was 10 but I can just imagine standing there watching it happen. Such a great song and that was a perfect segue for our next laneway which was in fact AC/DC Lane.

 

Up to the Paris end of the city we went and into the lane. This was one of the first places I went to when I arrived in Melbourne, as I had to go to a work dinner. My first visit there was dark and cold and I did the necessary work thing and then went home not really having my bearings given everything in Melbourne was so new to me at the time. I didn't realise the significance of this lane as it's more than just a namesake after one of our greatest bands. It's home to the Cherry Bar and it's a lane that I am putting on my to do list again for next week, as there was just so much to see ranging from art that took up whole walls to tiny pieces that you would catch out of the corner of your eye as you strolled past. I can't believe I haven't wandered up there again since arriving.  My Melbourne to do list is going to need its own personal assistant soon.

Not sure if the latest installation below was a hit with everyone, but I loved it.  It took me back to the 80's when I made a pair of pants with fabric that was inspired by this style of art. I think I could have a sewing project on my hands, as another pair of pants with some crazy artwork would be a fun addition to my wardrobe.  I'd be walking graffiti. Wouldn't that be cool.

 

It's in this laneway that there are a lot of pieces of art that are both highly respected and a bit controversial in terms of the styles and that's the beauty of this city. It's a thinking city. It changes, it moves, it's alive and I'm in love with it.

 

Oh god, there is just so much to photograph that I need to remind myself that my passion is writing, I think... but with so much beautiful work to look at, each piece with it's own appeal, I hope it's possible to find a balance between the written and the visual.

 

More information kept coming forth about the artworks and the artists, some of which have incredible stories behind them and I was happy to be an information sponge. Chris knows his stuff and apart from his street knowledge, has built great relationships with many people and this forms a beautiful circle of giving, receiving and giving back.  It was then a short stroll to Hosier Lane, which is probably the first name that comes to mind when you think of street art in Melbourne, but keep your eyes open, because great stuff is everywhere. Up, down, around unexpected corners and in nooks and crannies. Eyes must be peeled at all times. 

Hosier Lane became the back drop of my fashion style photo for the day. Who would have thought that my outfit would have blended in so well with the art work....Me I guess, cause sometimes, I feel like I am a piece of art. The style challenge for the day was double denim and I assure you there is only so many times you can wear jeans and a denim jacket before it is no longer interesting, so I used my chambray shirred strapless top that I designed, as a little skirt over my jeans and posed my big happy double denim heart out.

From here we walked back to his photo booth where we took some selfies and were given one of his beautiful prints which we were asked to choose when we made the booking for the tour. The tour can be booked on his website and included getting to meet some new people, having a strolling coffee, getting some exercise, learning about the city laneway's, and taking away some momentos from the day. What's not to love.  I'd recommend this to anyone who has moved or is visiting Melbourne, or if you would love a relaxed laid back wander around the city with someone who has spent part of their life being a tour guide overseas but whose heart is all about Melbourne.

I'm so pleased I got to be part of Chris's journey as he branches out his incredible skills for all things people. For me, it was the perfect thing to really cement my roots in this city I now call home.