Opportunity - Sharing the Janergy Effect

Opportunity - a time or set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something.

How many times have you had opportunity knock on the door and you haven't let it in?

I have, and sometimes it has kept knocking and knocking and I still haven't let it in.

The bell rings
It yells out
It looks under the door and calls out
It peeps through the keyhole
It goes away
Comes back
And practically breaks the door down to try and get your attention
But for whatever reason, you just wont answer it and let it in.

Eventually though, you get the message that maybe those "opportunistic" moments are presenting for a reason and maybe you need to take notice and open the door.

One of my favourite movies is Yes Man where the main character takes on the challenge of saying YES to everything and I mean everything, and with that brings great adventure and positive change in his life as he overcomes his fear of the unknown. Sure it's a hollywood blockbuster, but the message is very clear - SAY YES TO OPPORTUNITY WHEN IT PRESENTS, even if you feel scared.

Over the past 6 months since I was made redundant, I have been open to all opportunities. I even saw being made redundant as an opportunity to consider what else might arise here in Melbourne and I guess the biggest thing it did was give me time to think about what I want next in my life.

I used my time to do some personal development, get some life coaching and see where my strengths are and how I can use them to my advantage. I tapped into a lot of free events that I found on facebook and meetup and went along to see what I could glean.

One of the great things I did was attend a free public speaking course. It was amazing to learn in really simple steps how to get up and talk in front of a group. At the end of the night I volunteered to get up and do a 2 minute impromptu speech to about 30 people. I talked about finding purpose and how I wanted to pursue some things that would satisfy me in a personal and professional way. I talked off the cuff and felt an incredible sense of achievement from this. Was it uncomfortable - Yes, was it worth it - hell yes. But I saw an opportunity and I took it.

Work opportunities have been less forthcoming, so I have had to think about my longer term plan. Maybe my opportunities aren't here in Melbourne, as I have found that securing ongoing work hasn't happened and the financial impact has been devastating. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Melbourne, but I need to take notice of the resistance that is surrounding me.

I have found that the more I have tried to lock down my future here, the less it seems probable. Six months is a long time to hold on for maybe, so I am listening to this loud and clear and taking notice of the blockers. There's a big world out there and maybe I am meant to be out there amongst it.

When you apply for over 100 jobs and get only a handful of interviews, then you have to wonder if there's a bigger plan ahead, right? And with that, I need to act.

In my last post, I talked about meeting a lovely man and as we have spent time together we have both agreed that maybe our opportunities are elsewhere and with that I have joyfully accepted this and set the motion of change in effect.

I have given notice on my place and begun to downsize my possessions so I can travel lighter. I have a lot of stuff and I don't want anything to hold me back. I already paid for most of it to be in storage for the past 3 years at a staggering cost of nearly $5000, so I am prepared to give it all away if need be, because as much as I love these items, I don't love them enough to pay to keep them locked in a warehouse gathering dust.

My "One Day" is here and I am freeing myself of all this baggage. I hate to think I am living in a throwaway society, but I have to take charge of my life and be realistic about circumstances and things need to change.

I started to unpack everything I got out of storage and it turned into a garage sale. I literally opened my garage door and put some stuff out to sell. How's that for opportunity.

So what else can I share about opportunity?

• If something keeps nagging away at you, then maybe it's opportunity trying to get your attention? Listen to it! My ex husband kept nagging away at me and eventually I listened and I realised that the opportunity to live a happy peaceful life was passing me by.
• If an opportunity arises, take it, jump on it, embrace it. You may welcome it wholeheartedly, or you may not think it is right for you or has any benefit, but you'd be surprised what doors open up just by saying "yes". Whether it's opportunity to further your career, go on a date, get up and speak in front of strangers, take a road-trip, whatever it may be, JUST DO IT. Use it to broaden your world and your life experiences. You can always change your mind if it isn't working, but the opportunity may not present again, and you don't want to live with regret.
• Embrace fear. Make it your friend and let it guide you to bigger and better things. The comfort zone is a great space if you want to live in comfort, but being out of your comfort zone is where our magical moments happen. The more uncomfortable we are, the greater opportunity it gives us to grow our confidence and abilities and to enjoy our life.

 

Over three years ago I said yes to moving to Melbourne. It was an opportunity that I didn't want to regret pursuing, so I took it. It's been a great adventure, but maybe its purpose has been fulfilled. In fact, I know some things have. I always wanted to live here. It has enabled me an incredible amount of self-growth. I have made some amazing friends who have stood by me along this journey. I found my voice and I like it. I feel empowered, confident and strong and that my not have happened had I stayed in my safe space.

I have also met the lovely man and had my heart healed. However our journey turns out, I know that the care and kindness I have experienced in the short time I have known him is something I have never experienced before and it is an absolute joy to have had that unexpected opportunity.

My bigger picture is now to move to Canberra, pursue some contract work there, get myself back on top financially and then see what opportunities present and I will be doing this with my new found love beside me.

Opportunity awaits and I am ready for it.

See you soon for the next word that I pull out of my lucky dip. I can't wait to see what it is.
💗

Entree to Love: the sheriff's in town

Ha! So my quest for love continues as does my commitment to my idea of Entree to Love.  What I can report, is that there is nothing to report. That cloak of invisibility is still shrouding me, but what is exciting, is that other people are excited about the idea of connecting in the real world.  I WANT EVERYONE TO GET EXCITED! And there has been a little bit of word of mouth happening, but not enough yet for me to hold an event - well I could hold one, but not sure how the mingling would go.  Come on people, get on the love train.

I nearly fell over dead when someone told me that they heard there is a man drought in Melbourne. I don't need to hear that, and I am sure that all my single women friends don't need to hear that. Pretend you didn't hear that women friends.  I am doing my best to smoke all the good ones out. I will leave no dry man pond unturned.  I will make the baron wasteland of man drought flow like a volcanic eruption of man juice. (Should i put a submission into mills and boon? I am sure i could make the morning news sound sultry, not just the weather).

My friend recently posted this on instagram and I was like hell yeah. And I often ask people who talk to me about stuff whether they are the driver or the passenger in their life.

So with regards to love and finding the right love, should we wait for it to happen, or go in search of it just like any other goal that we have. Should we be the driver or passenger?

I think with love, sometimes we have this kind of fear, or taboo that comes with wanting to a part of a healthy loving union, like oh, i don't need that, we don't deserve it, or our past hurts hold us back from being open to the experience, so we base all future possibility on the past fears, or on the other side, is the horror of being rejected.

Rejection does suck, but it's also a part of life.  We get rejected for jobs, for a house contract, my credit card sometimes gets rejected, but we just have to keep moving on.  The rejection factor with online dating is usually savage.  But don't take it to heart.  It's not you, it's them...unless you are doing the rejecting and if you are, then there's probably a reason why. But put your big pants on and do it in a way that leaves everyone's feelings intact. And if you do get rejected, be nice. Not everyone gets excited by your big fish, or your selfies with the toilet in the background. If i had a dollar for every get fucked, or fuck off fat bitch, or stupid old bitch, then I'd be on my way to retirement. SAVAGE AS FUCK!

I posed the question today about how much do we leave to chance when it comes to love or how much do we make our own destiny.  I have always been someone who has had the universe intervene in the most unusual ways in my life.  So why isn't it intervening in this aspect of my life?  I find it rather perplexing, so that just means one thing.....I can't leave it to chance. This isn't a bloody disney movie, this is real life. My life is full of love but I want the love where eventually I wake up with someone...someone who's happy to have my morning breath and doesn't think it's weird that I like my toast stone cold.

I have to put my creative thinking cap on to get the word out that I am (to quote my friend Elena), I am going for it. Cause I would rather be out of my comfort zone working towards my goal (and why shouldn't love be a goal), then sitting home on the couch waiting for prince charming to land in my lap (i like asian lillies and fresh cream truffles - just sayin).

 

Do you think James Bond would have made it out of that crocodile infested water, if he just said "she'll be right mate"? No, he had to seize a moment and say, I am going for it.

So here's what it has come to for me ........ A WANTED POSTER. hahahaha. The sheriff always gets his man right?  Thinking I might print some out and stick them to telegraph poles around town.  (I am taking this business very seriously). But seriously, like everything else I do with life, i want to embrace it, challenge myself and be open to possibility and have a giggle along the way.

If i don't take charge, who will?  I am going for it!

So i am going to continue to put the word out that I am looking for one awesome guy and as you know, I want to do my bit to help others connect along the way.  So if you want to get on board (not on board me - cause I'd like to get to know you first), but on board the entree to love bus, then get in touch.  I think it's going to be a lot of fun with a lot of positive support along the way for those of us who are out of our comfort zone just thinking that we'd rather be eaten by a pack of crocodiles, instead of running towards the opportunity to go for what it is we want. 

Stay tuned, cause the love sheriff's got her bubble gun ready for when she needs to make an arrest.

the entree to ENTREE TO LOVE

Happy New Year love bugs

Well, I am so excited to be shifting my writing focus onto something a little more lighthearted and hopefully more fun this year. 

I've actually kicked off the new year feeling really fresh and it's amazing how many people have actually said to me "jan, this is your year".  Like have literally come to me and said it. I'll high five that. Thank you very much, please have my year delivered to the door in daily fun installments.... cause it's MY FUCKING YEAR!

I've even written it on a giant post it....that's how much of a year it's going to be for me and I am adding the things that I want to achieve.

 

I was thinking about the writing project I just finished and it was amazing how as cathartic as it was, it was also something that kept my mind thinking and thinking about how I would interpret each piece of written work.  It was quite exhausting (but fun). The topics weren't heavy but the road I was taking seemed to be.  In fact it was bloody heavy at times, but that was then and this is now and it feels like I have lifted this massive weight off my shoulders. Don't get me wrong, I loved it, I thought about quitting numerous times, but I am so glad I didn't.  It was a journey that gave me more than I ever expected on a level of personal growth and freedom.

So what now?  What on earth would a spunky, funny, sassy, single in the city kinda girl want to turn her attention to? What could it possibly be? Have a guess? That's right, it's love.  LOVE
elle
ohhh
veee
eeeeeeekkkk
spells LOVE.

As I have navigated single life the past couple of years, the thing I was hoping for was to meet a nice fella and go on a journey.  What happened though, is that I met a few fellas, some good, some bad, some good/bad and some downright ugly and the journey's reflected said good, bad and ugly. And when I say ugly, I mean who the fuck are you, kind of ugly. Trust me, the screen shot folder in my phone is full of candid camera moments, from dick pics, to messages, to screen shots of people's profiles that have just left me laughing and horrified and wondering 'who the fuck are you people"?  I know who you people are......you are NOT my people! Bet you are all dying to see some of those. Anyway, don't sweat the small stuff right, I am an expert with the block button and this time has given me the strength, reflection, patience and desire to consider what it is I want and the type of person who I want in my life. And I am 100% sure of what I don't want and 100% sure of what I do want.

 

In defense of the highlighter guy, he was asking what my shoe size was......but why the fuck would he want to know that? Hello freaky mcshoefetish face.

What's been interesting though is that I have not met one man in the offline environment. That has been the case always with me. They just don't gravitate towards me and when I do meet men from online, they can't believe that I and single and don't have guys swarming around me like I'm the queen bee luring them to the honey pot. There's been no response to my upturned bananas in the shopping trolley, or feeling the ripeness of my melons in the fruit shop.....nada, zilch. zero.

Even though my online conversion rate hasn't been fantastic - the ghosts, the breadcrumbers, the stinky catfishers, the married, the flakes, the can't be arsed and as sad as that is, the face to face conversion has been nada...zilch....zero. I could walk through the valley of the men dolls while naked, handing out free tickets to sporting events and beers and I would wager a hundred bucks that they wouldn't even notice. Maybe that's a little far fetched, but you get the idea.  N.Z.Z. 

If it wasn't for the world of online dating, who knows how the fuck I would meet anyone and get my social needs met. How do I change that face to face interest?  That's going on my list.  I am wondering though if there are rules against joining a nunnery after your cherry has been popped?  Maybe that's a business venture to consider for women considering a career change when the cloak of invisibility has been thrown their way and their popped cherry's become something in the dried fruit aisle. Only useful to make a Christmas pudding, and shit Christmas has gone and they have to wait another 12 months for the fruit to be soaked so to speak.

So dating has been an hilarious part of my water cooler conversations at work and out of work, with belly laughs a plenty that come when we discuss said good, bad and the ugly and my newly coined N.Z.Z.

My kicker came when I was stood up by the same guy twice after he initiated contact and the catch ups he arranged.  Happy to give someone the "make a fake excuse once", but twice just doesn't cut it and with that I was kind of propelled to think about this whole dating and love bizzo and what I could possibly do different to ensure I win the prize that I have my eye on. And that prize is to be shot by cupids big fat arrow right slap bang in the middle of my heart.💘💘💘💘💘💘💘 so it sprays bursts of red heart glitter everywhere with each pounding beat.

Through my conversations with others, there is an undeniable desire for people wanting to connect with others in the flesh, before they flash the flesh and get their flesh all hot and sweaty. Think old fashioned dating.  It was a thing once and maybe everything old needs to be new again. People I know really want to find something more meaningful and to step out from behind the keyboard and interact in person. The online world has gone mad and it is bloody hard work, with not a lot of return on investment. People are fatigued by it, and what I have noticed is that it's an ego boosting tool when you match with someone and that person never initiates or returns a simple message.  "Hey, look, someone likes me" and then.....N.Z.Z

So following my kicker, I was propelled to put on my thinking cap and take matters into my own hands and come up with an idea.  I am reaching out to people I know who are single and have single friends who also have single friends and see if I can bring us all together.  Not like keys in a bowl kind of way, but in a like meets like kind of way. Think of it like the right kind of love virus to keep spreading.

When I floated my idea with my sister, she also thought it was a winner so I am sharing with you ENTREE TO LOVE, my idea to bring people together with food and genuine opportunity to meet and interact in a safe real time space. I see it suited to those who are over online dating, are wanting to meet someone special, make new friends of same and opposite sex or to take those first scary steps back into the dating world without being slapped down by the BS that comes with one of the few either expensive and nasty, cheap and nasty or free and nasty sites that are swamping the market.  I wanna keep it real people, because I am real.

When the name came up there wasn't one hashtag, the name wasn't taken, so I took it as a sign from the love gods and I am running with it.

And here's how I want to do it.  I want to combine my love of vegetarian food and cooking, communicating, creativity, warmth and happiness, passion for people and love of love to see if I can make a difference to those like me who really want to find another loving soul to be with and are open to whatever may come along.

It's not a matchmaking service (although I have a few success stories there) but it will be an even mix of men and women and I will only ask for a small cost (like 30 bucks) to cover the food that I will arrange for the gathering.  It may be dinner at my home, a picnic in the park or who the fuck knows what hair brain idea may pop into my head.  It will also be alcohol free.  I am not anti-alcohol, but think that it's a great idea to keep things clear headed when we being considerate of other people and their feelings.

And that's it.  I am holding my first one on Saturday 20th January and will schedule as interest dictates, but at least one a month.

You can follow along, or contact me for more information through

Entree to Love instagram
Facebook page
or email me  at entreetolove@hotmail.com

I look forward to sharing some some stories, and recipes and adventures and anything that will make its way to Entree to Love and I hope that you go through your friends list and friendzone list and consider whether people you know are ready for something like this, or if you would love to be a part of it.

And with that, hello 2018 and hello to love.....it's gonna be my year and hopefully yours as well, especially if you have been looking for love in all the wrong places. xxxx

the Melbourne Walking tour I had to take

Sunday was a most glorious Melbourne winter's day and mine started with having to be at the clock on Flinders Street Station for a date....not that kind of date, but a date to see the city through someone elses eyes.  If you are going to meet someone in Melbourne, then under the clock is the place that first comes to mind when you decide to sync watches for a planned adventure.

 

I'm coming up to my 2 year anniversary of being in Melbourne, so I think I can take on the title of now being a Melbourner - even though I haven't adopted the much loved black clothing, I think I am fitting in and bringing my own flavour to this city and starting to sprinkle my "Janergy" around.  I've done a lot of walking, but no walking tours since moving here, although the chocolate walking tour really really appeals to me. Yum.

When I saw this one come up in my social media feed, I literally jumped at the chance to get my shoes on, grab my camera and join in. This was no ordinary walking tour (I'm sure none of them are ordinary), because this one was being done by Chris Cincotta, who most people know as the face behind the faces of Humans in Melbourne and Melbourne I Love You, both of which bring me and thousands of others joy when we see his photos and get inspired and behind the stories he shares, which we all then share to spread the love. These were some of the first accounts I started following when I moved here as they really made me feel connected to the city.

 

As someone who loves wandering the laneways and arcades of Melbourne, I knew that Chris would be able to share some great history and stories of the city, especially the artists whose works take residence.  Chris also does many great things and is involved in paving the way to make change on a real genuine level for so many people and his creative thinking, enthusiasm and care for others is beautiful to watch and to now be a part of, as I was lucky enough to be on his first ever Melbourne tour.

Of course I don't want to give too much away in case you decide to go, but I loved every minute of it. The group was small and ranged from a guy who had been in Melbourne for only 2 months, to people who had a history with Chris and wanted to be part of his new history. The weather was chilly, so he even lent a jacket to someone who was feeling the cold as we were waiting to start. That's the kind of guy he is.

First stop was Degraves St, which is part of my usual route to the city as I love to stroll up Flinders, turn the corner and see what awaits.  It's also home to the well known orange vespa at Clementines, a place that sells locally crafted products. We dropped in to say hi and were given a little gift that was specific to the city postcode of 3000. It created quite a buzz with the group.

 

We then headed to Centre Place which is a laneway full of energy and a hive of activity. Here Chris shouted us all coffee at 3 Little Monkeys, (the second place in on the right) and the caffeine flowed, as did the friendliness of the group and the coffee shop.  I'm keen to go back and enjoy a coffee there and just enjoy the laneway vista cause I hear from a good source that this is where the locals hang out during the week and guess who is a local?

 

Next stop was the Soup Place where the pay it forward mantra is alive and very very real.  Pick up your lunch, buy some for someone else in need and leave a post it on the wall so it can be claimed.  The place is jam packed with post its containing messages from those who are being so giving. There are a couple of big containers on the counter where the post its get put once someone has enjoyed the meal given by another and those bowls were at overflowing.  Having a roof over my head, water, warmth and food are things I don't take for granted, so for people to have access to this basic need without judgement or questioning is just fantastic. It would be awesome if these post its made their way into a giant art installation somewhere as a reminder of how generous the people who live and visit the city are.

Onward we strolled, coffee in hand hearing stories and learning more about Melbourne's people, history and culture. We also got to see where Chris has taken some of his amazing photos which he sells in his booth on the corner of Bourke and Swanston.

  

There's something to be said about finding out where the best public amenities are as well...and not being in a group of people where an umbrella is held up to ensure that no one loses the guide.  Chris ensured we were always in sight but without the pressure of feeling like we had to stick close by.  We could wander, observe, take photos at leisure, stop and chat and enjoy as we just moved and flowed without feeling rushed.

 

  

 

We walked through the Block and Royal Arcade's as we headed towards the Bourke Street Mall and made our way to Elizabeth Street, where we were entertained, and I was in awe of the violinist who was busking.  He was amazing and has been asked to play with Mumford and Sons and that's a pretty big honour. Chris also shared with us the story of the Golden Purse at the bottom end of the mall and the enormity that is the busking scene in Melbourne. After having this little sit down and a musical intermission, we headed in search of laneway art and Union Lane was first spray can off the shelf.

 

After this, we headed towards Swanston St where the film clip for the AC/DC hit It's a long way to the top was made in 1976. Oh my god, I was 10 but I can just imagine standing there watching it happen. Such a great song and that was a perfect segue for our next laneway which was in fact AC/DC Lane.

 

Up to the Paris end of the city we went and into the lane. This was one of the first places I went to when I arrived in Melbourne, as I had to go to a work dinner. My first visit there was dark and cold and I did the necessary work thing and then went home not really having my bearings given everything in Melbourne was so new to me at the time. I didn't realise the significance of this lane as it's more than just a namesake after one of our greatest bands. It's home to the Cherry Bar and it's a lane that I am putting on my to do list again for next week, as there was just so much to see ranging from art that took up whole walls to tiny pieces that you would catch out of the corner of your eye as you strolled past. I can't believe I haven't wandered up there again since arriving.  My Melbourne to do list is going to need its own personal assistant soon.

Not sure if the latest installation below was a hit with everyone, but I loved it.  It took me back to the 80's when I made a pair of pants with fabric that was inspired by this style of art. I think I could have a sewing project on my hands, as another pair of pants with some crazy artwork would be a fun addition to my wardrobe.  I'd be walking graffiti. Wouldn't that be cool.

 

It's in this laneway that there are a lot of pieces of art that are both highly respected and a bit controversial in terms of the styles and that's the beauty of this city. It's a thinking city. It changes, it moves, it's alive and I'm in love with it.

 

Oh god, there is just so much to photograph that I need to remind myself that my passion is writing, I think... but with so much beautiful work to look at, each piece with it's own appeal, I hope it's possible to find a balance between the written and the visual.

 

More information kept coming forth about the artworks and the artists, some of which have incredible stories behind them and I was happy to be an information sponge. Chris knows his stuff and apart from his street knowledge, has built great relationships with many people and this forms a beautiful circle of giving, receiving and giving back.  It was then a short stroll to Hosier Lane, which is probably the first name that comes to mind when you think of street art in Melbourne, but keep your eyes open, because great stuff is everywhere. Up, down, around unexpected corners and in nooks and crannies. Eyes must be peeled at all times. 

Hosier Lane became the back drop of my fashion style photo for the day. Who would have thought that my outfit would have blended in so well with the art work....Me I guess, cause sometimes, I feel like I am a piece of art. The style challenge for the day was double denim and I assure you there is only so many times you can wear jeans and a denim jacket before it is no longer interesting, so I used my chambray shirred strapless top that I designed, as a little skirt over my jeans and posed my big happy double denim heart out.

From here we walked back to his photo booth where we took some selfies and were given one of his beautiful prints which we were asked to choose when we made the booking for the tour. The tour can be booked on his website and included getting to meet some new people, having a strolling coffee, getting some exercise, learning about the city laneway's, and taking away some momentos from the day. What's not to love.  I'd recommend this to anyone who has moved or is visiting Melbourne, or if you would love a relaxed laid back wander around the city with someone who has spent part of their life being a tour guide overseas but whose heart is all about Melbourne.

I'm so pleased I got to be part of Chris's journey as he branches out his incredible skills for all things people. For me, it was the perfect thing to really cement my roots in this city I now call home.