just call me love, self love!

As I mentioned in my last post, i wanted to do a little debrief on my recent 14 day BE MY OWN EFFIN VALENTINE mindset makeover.

Everyone of those 14 day self-love thought bubbles gave me something to explore, challenge, work on and actually come away feeling and thinking a bit differently about some aspects of my life. Some I was already on board with and some have become added, or enhanced to stock up the janijans life tool belt.

So here's what i took away.

Day 1. MIRROR MANTRA

So i am always telling everyone how amazing I am, in a non show pony kind of way. People sometimes take a step back and get a bit freaked out, but i am happy to own it. So for me the mirror mantra had to be something that kind of summed how i see myself - a life slayer. hahaha. i also added another one to the mirror. I LOVE MYSELF. And this is for anyone who happens to visit my bathroom and looks in the mirror and is confronted with that same uncomfortable feeling of "oh shit, everything didn't flush away, what do i do. do i do a double flush and hope that no one notices" kind of feeling. Own the double flush and own the big pink sign and go - oh that was uncomfortable. And if that big pink sign does make you uncomfortable, then i suggest read it again and again and stay in there till the beads of self love sweat disappear, or refrain from using my bathroom.

Day 2. GRATITUDE

I'm a big believer in gratitude and am truly amazed at how this simple practice can make such a difference to life. I've started a gratitude wall so i can be reminded each time i walk past of the many wonderful people and things i have in my life. 

My friend has this amazing connection to the universe and has no fear asking for what she wants. I'm an incredibly spiritual person and my gut feeling and intuition are always almost on point. These are 2 different things but with a strong connection and I'd like to open myself to the universe a bit more. So along with the gratitude post its, i am also asking the universe for more. Let's see hey. Nothing wrong with asking right!

Last night my friend messaged me and reminded me to ask the universe for what it want. Lo and behold i receive a message from a charming young man and i can assure you this is not what i asked the universe for. no no never especially with either of these buffoons. This is just another in a long line of not so suitable suitors who just know how to make a lady feel special. So old, tired and boring...and i am not talking about me!

3. HEADSPACE

I am so lucky that in my younger life i was given some great tools to keep me mindful. I've never been that much of a meditator as such but one of my top tricks was to do this every hour - stop and drop my shoulders. Try that one at home, or in the office, or wherever. Having your tight tense shoulders squashed up against your ears is very unromantic, cause there is better things to have rubbing up against this area. So leave the shoulders where they belong. It's amazing how much of a tension measure this is.

Day 4. NOURISH

Now more than ever i need to nourish and more holistically. this week i think i reached my low in terms of knowing what to do next in my current circumstances and i'm actually sick and it sucks. Of course i will keep doing what i am doing to support my son, but i also have to look out for me. I am feeling pretty run down and as someone who is so in sync with their body, it's sending me a message.

It's time for my self-love smoothie, It isn't the green smoothie, but a detox smoothie instead.

blueberries (i hate blueberries, but i am going with the flow)
banana, fresh or frozen
coconut water or milk
vegan protein powder AND
milk thistle extract.

I'll keep you posted on this one but i don't have a pic of it yet, cause dah....i haven't made it. But if Janice Dickinson and her smoothie is anything to go by, then i am scared, very very scared.

Day 5 and 6 HAPPY TUNES, DANCE OF LIFE AND CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS

So music has always been part of my life. Going to sleep with music has been a bigger part and up until my son arrived, i would put my bose on and slumber off with this background treat every night. He's not really into it, so i have not had this for a few months now and i really miss it.  And i'll be EFFed if im gonna move the bose in and out of my room each day. No No No. So rather than continuing to miss out on this really important part of my daily ritual, seems like a trip to JB Hifi is on the cards to restore law and order and bring beautiful music back to my sleeping ears. And then i can have my happy and sleepy tunes without causing anyone else discomfort.

DANCE OF LIFE

Each to their own, but how can you not love to dance. I am still doing my salsa dancing, but with any life changing circumstances, you need to modify what you do to make room for other stuff that needs attention. when i do go to salsa class, it doesn't matter how you feel, one thing is guaranteed, you will walk away feeling like you are floating on air. One of my all time favourite dance floor tunes is Praise by Fat Boy Slim. When my old neighbour got married many years back this was their wedding dance song..so cool. I was dancing to this in the lounge room the other day and to my surprise, my son joined in for a moment. I was great to see that little bit of joy come across his face.

If you are in Melbourne and want to feel the power of dance and get a bit out of your comfort zone, then i encourage you to check out the silent disco run by Guru Dudu. I have done 2 now and really need to do another before they finish up soon. There are happy tunes and dance galore and the endorphins flow faster than passion pop at a school formal.

Day 7. LOVE JAR

Yep, i have made one and will read one each day for me, and one to share with another.  As part of my conscious living this year, i want to reach out to people. I really do believe that the world is such a small place and we don't do enough to connect with others. i also have thought of some other ways to use this love jar as well. Not for anything weird, but to maybe put other notes in there that i wish to share apart from beautiful things i would love to hear someone say to me.

Day 8. SMILING

I am all over this one.  My smile is as big as a fucking sunrise and i share it willingly.  Smiling is one of those things that you can use to FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. If you feel crap, just smile - lift those little things up that sit on the side of your mouth. (I call them crusticles)

ORRRRRRR print out my smiling face and stick it on your fridge.  You are bound to smile back when you are confronted with this ball of smiley face everyday.

Day 9. LOVE YOUR CHOICES

Am i loving my choices?  Yes, yes and yes. i have been guilty of making choices that were not in the best interest for me but you do them for various reasons and even i knew that some of them were just dumb. I have to say that the weird and sometimes wonderful world of online dating has actually opened my eyes to the very real issues that me and other women face when you have the audacity to say no to a man. What this has given me is a new found empowerment to stand up for myself in a variety of forums. I laugh off the pathetic responses when I challenge someones poor behaviour for not accepting their inability to accept that no means no. I'll be more than happy to wear around a t-shirt that says i'm a bitch, or pathetic, or uptight, or bitter or old fat and angry cause i said NO! Haaaa and on that back it could say - i tried online dating and all i got was this lousy t-shirt.......

Day 10. CELEBRATE

Okay so I am still good at celebrating others people's wins and not so much my own....Sort that shit out janijans.  So i am a big believer in linking.  Whether it's the link arms and dosey do, kind of thing, or when you have something you want to change and you decide to attach the thought to something you already have or do.  SO I NEED TO CELEBRATE MORE.  People often ask me why i have writing on my hand at times - so school girl i know - but often if i have something i want to be mindful of, i just write it on me.  It catches my attention and then becomes the reality. Sooooo to remind me to CELEBRATE, i have done this.

and i'll keep refreshing it till it becomes second nature.  I'm gonna get a giant bag of party poppers tomorrow as well, cause firstly i am all out and i love them and secondly, what better way to acknowledge my wins then with a small explosion of popping goodness. I spose i could pop a fart, but not always appropriate. I'm getting a bit excited about this now. (wish i had one right now)  can you imagine it.... I make the perfect crema on my coffee...POP. when i wake up with the perfect bed hair - POP POP and when i actually find 2 socks that match in my draw....POP POP POP.  i see good times ahead.

Day 11.  GO SLOW

I can't tell you how much i love to go slow....to be silly, to have fun and to play. I love to lie on the couch and daydream, I love to play pool, play in the sand, board games, card games....i don't care, i just love anything that connects with my inner child and when i saw this ad on telly recently, i realised that i need this in my life....it's up there with nerf guns, which i also need in my life.

I am actually going out quite a bit without my phone as well.  hahahaha i even went on a tinder coffee date recently and forgot to take my phone. If i wanted that "get me out of here" fake emergency call, it was never gonna arrive.  I would just have to be upfront and say - hey, sorry, you just aint making my pecker pop.  thanks, nice to meet you and all the best.

Day 12. TAKE THE LEAP

So yes, i am taking the leap. The two things i am passionate about are slowly churning. one is finding LOVE - when you realise that you have settled for less than you actually deserve for far to long then it's okay to invest some time into doing it properly. i have been going on "some meet and greets, let's make awkward small talk and no i am not coming home to fuck you so don't even ask" moments. some of those frogs should never had made it past tadpole stage. they could do with a fairy god mother to come and give them a good talking to about how to treat a woman and sprinkle them with a little magic decency dust. So as part of my conscious living in relation to dating....here's my new rules.  I am only meeting for coffee for a first date and probably a second.  A genuine man who may hold the same values and wants the same outcome as me will hopefully respect and understand the method in my madness.

i am reading an amazing book at present and i can't share just yet, as it is gong to be pivotal to a very personal journey i am undertaking and want to share.  It has the concept of READY AIM FIRE. So often we spend so much time looking for the target to take aim at, that we never actually take the shot. The leap of faith advice is to take the shot.  Go see where it landed on your target and adjust the next shot knowing how far or close you were to the bullseye.  Do something, rather than nothing.

who knows, you could just end up doing something you never though possible in one of the fashion capitals of the world.

Day 13. SUPER YOU

I actually feel like a bit of a super me. I don't like to compare and I love to inspire.  I am reading a book at present that i will begin to share and as I read it and did the action steps, this passage in the book really struck a chord with me. No matter what experiences I have had in my life - many traumatic, many life changing, many that i have just gone WHAT THE FUCK, one thing has been constant.  My ability to cope and find a way forward. Regardless.

The mature human being goes about doing what needs to be done regardless of whether that person feels great or terrible. Knowing that you are the kind of person with that kind of self-control brings all the satisfaction and confidence you will ever need.  Even on days when the satisfaction and confidence just aren't there, you can get the job done anyway.....

This really sums up my get up and go attitude, however the "mature" bit, i don't really agree with. A very dear friend and colleague recently told me that i have 2 powerful gifts.  One is my ability to think differently and the other is my knack of communicating it.  I feel that there is a place for me to really harness this and use it to help others  READY AIM FIRE.

Day 14. AWAKEN YOUR HEART

My heart is so awakened and opened and ready to invite more in. Hell, i'll even leave a spare key at the concierge desk to just make the delivery easier.....BRING IT ON!

So after undertaking that 14 day makeover I really do feel more inspired and excited to look at some things through a new lens and keep my momentum going.

My next post is going to be the start of a journey that i never imagined i would be undertaking, but it's timely and totally aligned with my year and life of living consciously. I expect that there could be a bit of WTF.......but that's okay cause i am on my own journey and i always welcome others to come along for the ride and glean anything that they can take away and use and use it with gusto.

Till next time.  LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

DSTSS - back to school

75. Think of your problems as potential teachers

As it sit here writing my post today, i am actually feeling totally overwhelmed about some or probably just one problem in my life. not the good problem, like should i have 2 scoops of gelato or one, and then decide if i should have whipped cream on top and then sprinkles, or whether i should have pink or blue fairy floss with my soft serve (pink always) but true problems that are life changing and have potential to impact profoundly.

at the end of last year, my 31 year old son outed himself as codeine addict from pills that he was able to obtain over the counter at the chemist and an addiction that is one of the most common and one of the most difficult to recover from.

i had spoken to him one night and had a gut feeling that something wasn't okay but didn't push it - that's not helpful - but the next night he rang me back and spilled the beans. he'd been taking enough pills daily to put him in the fatal risk zone. fuck - that's a tough pill to swallow when you hear it. he didn't want to worry me with this as he said i looked so happy in my new melbourne life. that is no excuse when you need to reach out for help and you know what..... never be afraid to reach out or in my case plant a seed that may have encouraged him to speak up.

he decided to and needed to make change. his work was affected, his health was affected and his relationship with his long term partner was affected and that was the impetus to seek help. he has started on a journey of wellness and a choice to no longer self harm and has relocated to stay with me and be supported while he works towards recovery.

so he has his own problem to deal with and his problem has now given me a problem and one that could consume me if i don't act smart about its affect and possible solutions. talk about a giant fucking snowball.

so how the hell do you think of this problem as a potential teacher. Oh let me count the ways. OMMMMMM Firstly by accepting it. then embracing it, learning from it, seeking wise counsel and then use all of this and anything else i can do to get through and to assist others who may be in need. and i have to understand that by not fighting the problem i will be able to look at it clearly, objectively and form pathways towards solutions and KEEP CALM AND CARRY THE FUCK ON. i will eventually take something away from it that will further enhance my life, my son's life and other's who may not know where to turn when in a tough situation.

at work we use the model below called the change curve - and i am all about curves - fancy colourful stylish gorgeous curves - and the beauty of being someone who has high resilience (and curves) is that you can always find a way to cope.  when i learnt of this problem, i bypassed stage one and two, and went straight to stage four - commitment. commitment to seek the best possible outcome for this problem.  Right now though, i have swung back into stage three, cause i am at a place where i need to explore some problem solving solutions (learnings), in order to continue staying afloat.

my son is also passing through phases of the change curve as he takes this journey. be open to change. life is a flowing journey and change is an integral part of it, even if it is uncomfortable and painful.

as it stands now, this problem has and is affecting many parts of my life and in just a short period of time. so i really need to make choices that will be smart and teach me ways to to get through it as easily as possible. i can see potential for this to bring me unstuck and i want to avoid that at all cost. i know from others who have traveled the same road, this this is a long and bumpy journey.

so how do i turn this problem to my advantage?  how do i learn from it and move forth knowing that i need an outcome that keeps my head above water.  i also want my son to stay one step ahead of me. crazy i know, but i want him to take the lead and find his way and know that he can call on me should he have trouble finding a path to follow.  #coach #cheerleader #motivationalinterviewer equals #mother

my financial situation is suffering.  i will probably never recover from being forced to sell my house and being left with nothing and i still have to deal with the sexually transmitted debt of this. it's been a struggle from the moment i shut the door on my past life - no regrets whatsoever, cause life is so much more peaceful and that surpasses any material thing i could ever want.  but now i have to think about how i manage this new problem that is having high financial impact. and my learning here is to be grateful for what i have. i've been through tougher financial moments than this, so just scaling back on any unnecessary things is totally okay. my needs have become secondary as his become more necessary.

my stress level is going off the chart. i know this because i want to cry....and a lot. i've had a headache for about the last week and i've actually felt like just hibernating. my learning here is to accept, acknowledge, elevate my feelings of gratitude, meditate, continue to be kind to myself and others and keep moving physically. this will help with my mental and physical capacity to cope and will further build my resilience. my life still has to go on.

i need to front up to work everyday and be present. i've shared this problem with those i work with and it ensures that they are aware that there may be days when i seem distracted, or quiet, or need to take some time to do personal stuff.  my learning here is that i am human and any one of us at any time could be confronted with a life changing situation that they need to give time and attention to. i've also discovered someone at my work who has gone through the exact same thing so by sharing my story, i can now draw on their experience.

i need to continue living and enjoying my life while going through this. totally makes sense to go do free stress reducing tai chi in fed square everyday doesn't it.....melbourne has so many free things to do, so i will tap into these cause i sure as hell ain't gonna lock myself away and shut down my life even if that's what may be the norm in this situation or if i feel like hibernating.  no going to the pit for me. i just need to modify and find ways to keep my endorphin cup overflowing.

my heart if full of compassion, empathy, kindness and love and i'll continue to give this to my son and support him without judgment, criticism or anger because his self-worth needs to be preserved and enhanced in order to recover.

and i've also learn't that no matter how long this problem goes on, i'll always have enough lipstick to see me through unless of course the doomsday clock ticks forward for another 2.5 minutes.....and then the problem will be solved, i guess!

Let's keep learning.  well, it was a big post today, but this is a big problem and i got a lot to learn from it.

Note to self: regardless of how challenging a problem may be, use it to take you to a better place. Think on it, sleep on it, learn from it, use it to make you a stronger person and understand that their may be sacrifices but don't stop living and enjoying life. the problem will pass and you may come out the other side wondering why you stressed over it so much in the first place.

DSTSS - a simple formula

74. Do a favour and don't ask for or expect one in return

So as part of my commitment for conscious living this year, i really am thinking about what's important to me and how i go about daily life.  for anyone who followed the events prior to my move to melbourne, you would no doubt understand that i needed to do something to keep me sane while turmoil was wreaking havoc, which is why i started my don't sweat the small stuff project anyway.  i only have to look at the cover of the book now and it plants some kind of grounding affect on me.  so yes, i am committed (or maybe i should be committed for plugging away at this) but it's still relevant especially as i now move into another chapter of my life.

i did start the content of this post many months back - over 184 days ago, which was when i stopped writing, but i think the content is still as relevant today as it was when i began to compose it. and if life stuff is overwhelming then take heart, there is always a positive way to deal with it that will keep you from going bonkers.  you just need to find the right formula and this project certainly worked a treat for me. and now, i'll finish the post that i started all the months ago.
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I am doing myself a favour and not asking anything in return.  I have picked up this bloody book and moved on with another chapter.  My determination to not have this unfinished business (ie this project) is still burning within me, so i must listen to that little voice that never seems to let me down. #innerpeace and #hurrythefuckup

I'm not sure whether i have delayed, because the subject seems a no brainier, or whether i just have had to many other things to be doing.  Maybe it's a bit of both.

so i was inspired by a presentation we had at work this week and it really fits this chapter of the book perfectly....Do a favour and don't ask for or expect one in return

where i work, we support a charity each quarter and on casual friday, we donate our spare change to go towards this particular charity. this quarter is big group hug a charity that helps support vulnerable children at the time of their life when their developmental requirements are so essential, but can be non existent due to way that life is panning out.  children who don't have food, nappies, clothes, a place to live and sometimes parents who need to try and feed their children before looking after their own needs. this charity is not supported by the government, but to hear their story and the work they do was both humbling and inspiring.

as most great things do - it started with a hair brain idea and snowballed.

there was many scenarios and stories shared and the one that resonated with me was of a person who decided to provide formula, for a baby she didn't know for as long as that child needed it. talk about "do a favour and ask for nothing in return". it was genuine compassion and caring for the needs of another.  what was amazing about this story, was that when this family moved out of their local community, the woman continued on with her commitment of helping by arranging home delivery of the formula for as long as was required.   it would be lovely to think that this child is now thriving due to the kindness of a total stranger.

i think about my move to melbourne and the financial impact this has had on me and someday's i would love to have a box of formula delivered to my doorstep (in the form of chardonnay or pinot grigio)

by the time a child is three, the weight of their brain is not that different to the size of an adult's brain and this charity is doing their best to ensure that basic needs are met for these children so they can thrive and survive. isn't that something we would all wish for another human - to at least have an opportunity?

that's a really big example of doing someone a favour and not asking for anything in return. the take away here is that by doing something nice - a favour - a genuine act of kindness without the need for it to be reciprocated may bring a sense of peace and if you appreciate and understand the power of peaceful living, then it may be another way of ensuring this part of your life continues. and i for one am all about peaceful living and giving where i can.

note to self: the formula for life is not one that can ever be calculated, but you can always do your own sums and decide if what you give outweighs the expectation of what you want to get back. for me, i'm at a place where the importance of giving seems so much more powerful than what i may receive in return.

hello wooorrrrlllddd - i'm back, now let's get our tantra on!

so facebook, the keeper of all things of importance has advised me today that it's been 183 days since i posted onto my page - that's 183 days since i sat down and wrote anything.  i'm not sure why i stopped, but i just seemed to have so much going on that each week this would just get pushed back and back till eventually it stalled.  there might have been a bit of blogging burnout thrown in there as well. Regardless of how big or small your blog is, it requires commitment and thought. and quite frankly, i just couldn't commit or think....but i am back, i think!

last year was a fun one though, as i continued to settle into melbourne life and find my feet and of course, fashion featured heavily.

highlights - i turned 50 and took my clothes off down by the yarra on my birthday eve at the suggestion of mr x. they say that timing is everything and the backdrop was to die for, unlike my white bridget jones undies, but mr x was instrumental in making my birthday week a great part of my life story so i stripped down. i guess that's what spontaneity is about, being in the moment regardless and that white underwear was what it was.

i also had quite a bit of hot sex (most of it with mr x) and went on a journey of sexploration. but in order to do that, i needed to challenge a part of my moral makeup that i had been guided by for most part of my life and i did it willingly without guilt or inhibitions, and that was very empowering. yep, i bonked a 27 year old - bet you weren't expecting to read that mum, but i'm not ageist and i'm gonna make choices depending on how i feel, not on what others think. and it became apparent to me, that i am a seriously hot mumma - only took how many years? but i am still scratching my head, with my extended middle finger as to why some men of various ages, think it's okay to engage with woman with such demeaning and totally inappropriate greetings and behaviours. Fella's it isn't and never will be a turn on to get a pick of your sad little peen or to be just sexually objectified. eeewww

i know that probably seems kinda weird for a woman standing in her underwear on the banks of the yarra to be talking about sexual objectification, but i did that for liberation.

i also learnt to salsa dance. this was a total blast and it will continue this year, with the aim of doing it as a more social thing.  it's quite daunting to put all those lessons into practice with strangers who will hopefully be understanding if i mix up my inside and outside turn, confuse my hammerlocks with my copas....but i'll keep plugging on regardless.

my use of time was also a constant thought in my mind and i was reminded by my friend Elena, that time is the only thing i will never get more of, so i have plastered a few giant post its around my place to remind me every time i walk past or look up from my technology that i should use my time more wisely.  a giant post it is also a great way to get stuff out of your head that is bothering you.  put it on the wall and let it just do its thing and make its way to your subconscious where it become second nature.

i picked up my paintbrush - a very good use of time.  so therapeutic and there will be more of that happening.

i got divorce papers from the man whose life i apparently ruined, when i chose not to be a verbal and emotional punching bag any more and the man who could never love or live happily again, but is getting married to a woman he met on tinder 5 weeks after we officially parted ways... we agreed to discuss divorce if it every became relevant - guess it became relevant. A joint application is only a joint application if the other party knows about it....just sayin! And i finally had the courage to tell that man to GO FUCK HIMSELF...i wanted to say that for so so long, cause being guilted, even after all this time is just not on. passive-aggressive behaviour is not the new black. (I think i probably have a whole other blog post about living in the shadow of overbearing men - save that for another day). but good luck to him for maybe finding the one who will make those poor behaviors become redundant. 

i drove the great ocean road in my convertible - that was a blast and have since gone on to sell my car.  it was serving me no purpose as i can ride my pushie, walk or catch the tram across the road which takes me to my 2 favourite places - doc pizza and tiamo italian restaurant. #winning 

i discovered that i really liked being on the back of a harley. vroom vroom. my convertible was great, and i think i might need to invest in a scooter so i can have my own vroom vroom.

my beautiful son outed himself as a codeine addict and reached out for help.  he's now under my caring watchful wing taking all steps possible to recover by relocating here for a while as he gets back on his feet. kudos to him for taking the hardest step, cause it's not a quick fix and not something i am an expert in managing, but we will take one step at a time.  i told him that i can't be on the playing field with him, but will be there cheering him on from the sidelines, as he takes this part of his life journey.

i re-read this book again (only about the 4th time) but it drives me to be mindful about how i choose to live my life - either living in a pit having pity parties, or embracing and making the most of every moment and challenge that i encounter. 

oh and my sewing machine broke down #sadface. that was a bitch! but it's back and ready to stitch up some goody good janijans designs again. 

goodbye 2016. hello 2017.

so as i headed into 2017, i was thinking about the year ahead and some of the things i want to achieve.  i haven't made a TO DO list or any resolutions - only to be more awesome maybe, but rather a TO BE list and that's where the tantra comes in.  i want to practice more conscious living and hopefully loving...so tantra is my mantra. i don't want to just DO, i want to BE and i want to continue to become an even better version of myself.

i want to BE a better human - for me and those around me
i want to be a better salsa dancer
i want to be out of my comfort zone
i want to be open to all opportunities

and "TO BE" requires conscious living in relation to thoughts and actions. sure i can switch on the autopilot but i don't want that to be what gets me to my destination. i want to take charge.

But there are a few things on my TO DO list and most relate to human connection. i want to connect with more people and as i have reflected on this late last year, a post popped up in my facebook feed from humans of new york.  it was about a woman who moved to a new city and thought that everything would just happen, just because she was in that new space that it would all come together. (no no no no no - it doesn't work that way).....she said that "relationships don't just happen because i exist" and i had that moment of wow, i want to dig deeper and work harder to consciously connect with others.  i need to reach out and make more effort in order for this part of my life to fill.  It doesn't come naturally to me to talk to strangers, but i'm gonna fake it till i make it.

I'm going to continue to support my son with his addiction recovery and it seems timely to finish off my project of not sweating the small stuff - dang - there's not that many chapters to go and it's gonna help ground me a bit.  i've never had to assist someone with addiction before, so it's paramount that i take care of me, so i can be on my A game. Maybe focussing on this will help, as it did when i was going through major life change previously.

and what's this.....a ukulele.  yes i am going to learn to play this gorgeous blue instrument and hope to find space for an electric piano. playing piano was one of the first things in my life that i really new i wanted to do even before i ever had a piano and dang i miss it.

so, here's a few other things on my list
- talk to at least 3 strangers every day
- smile at more people - this is a genuine connection that may make a difference to somebody's day
- start writing again - tick!
- be fearless
- say yes to almost everything
- continue to play by my own rules
- be more empowered and pave the way for those who want to get out of their comfort zone
- don't accept less then what i deserve as a woman and a human
- learn to network
- help bring others together - yes, i have a plan.  at work i am called the glue.  i didn't give myself that name, but seems i have an ability make things happen and keep people connected.  i want to explore this more.
- to let the universe do what it does best and be open to it.
- and to find love that flows freely and joyously.  as humans it's our evolution to be loved and give love and the time is now right for me to give what's in my heart and mind to someone who wants to have this ball of joy and fun in their life.

yep, there's a lot of me me me here, but this is my journey and as that book why wait to be great says, we write a life story that can be filled with so many experiences, both amazing and difficult and i want my story to be amazing even when i have to navigate through the rough parts.

So, i pose the question, how do you intend to fill the chapters of your life story. hopefully there is something here that may resonate or inspire you to look at your world differently and to reach beyond your comfort zone and create an amazing story going forward.  go for it.!

The sunday session 28 & 29 - the joy of tea-bagging

wow, what a busy couple of weeks.  I've had the absolute joy of having my little sister and her boys visit.  it's been a year since i have been able to be the worlds best aunty and also get to hang out with these guys and get to do some exploring around my new city with them.  And was it great...HELL YEAH!

speaking of exploring, when i moved to melbourne - nearly a year ago - i ran into my friend Beck.  In fact, i have managed to run into Beck at least 4 times in the city on random occasions. it's such a great feeling when that kind of universal collision happens.

she recently invited me to join her and her colleague Ramona at a natural dying workshop as part of their craft companion journey, i jumped at the chance.  check their book out.  it's totally cred.

these ladies are handmade life and have a gorgeous studio at the Queen Victoria Markets on Victoria Street, and even walking past and looking through the windows is enough to inspire even the least crafty person to get a bit excited about doing some simple fun projects.

on their link they have a variety of short workshops that you can do in an afternoon, while enjoying a fabulous afternoon tea, great company and laugh after laugh.  well worth checking it out.

at the session i went to, we were using products that we may have readily available to dye silk fabric and to learn about how you can also dye wool, should you wish to be a little more adventurous. knowing that you can take simple household products, such as turmeric, tea, berries and even onion skin and be so creative was right up my alley.

after learning about many of the techniques available, it was time for us to have a crack.

and we were introduced to the joy of this fantastic DIY.

we then got to prep our own dying project.

i decided to use magnets to bring mine together, but of course, there's soooo many possibilities.

 

my dyeing was done with turmeric - so impressive and yet so easy and voila - i have a gorgeous scarf. the yellow was an unusual choice for me, but i was drawn to the effect of the turmeric.

this is what you also get... hand made deliciousness..

so why have i titled this post the joy of tea-bagging, well, it's not what you think....but i really want to explore the simplicity of using the one thing that most people have in their kitchen to create an amazing natural colour palette. the tea bag. for me it evokes a colour reminiscent of the 20's and 30's glamour.

i love the feeling of this era and would like to put my own twist on it using teabag dyeing on silk and then creating some looks. bring on summer!

so let's step right into full colour and check out what i have been wearing.

on week 28, i was all about the snow queen look.  the white on cream on cream dream.  i was wearing a thrifted white linen skirt, cream jumper from uniqlo, cream vest thingy from lee cooper, brown boots from spurr and my fave cream fur hat that i op shopped sooooo long ago. i can't even explain how much i loved this look and i can't even explain it's simplistic elegance, but the word's simple and elegance probably don't belong int he same sentence if i am involved.  yet it just all worked.

for week 29, i am crushing on the double quilted ensemble.

firstly, it's double quilting.  that's what most people seem to have on their beds at present, but not me, i have taken it to the streets.

i picked up the skirt at uniqlo last week, and teamed it with a uniqlo turtle neck, my quilted vest i got in india way way way back in 2007, my men's shoes from tarocash and those hot pink tights. dang i felt good, with my big fancy hair and my dark sunnies, until the weather changed and then i kinda froze my tits off...we took my nephews ice skating - i didn't dress for this so sat it out, but after sitting for an hour at the outside ice skating rink watching my nephews and my sisters enjoy themselves in the absolute coldest and rainiest afternoon of the year, i eventually used my smarts and decided to fuck off home. where warmth and wine was the winning combination.

 

well, i am hoping i will be back on track with my weekly words, after what has been a few hectic weeks.  i'm off to go in search of silk, so i can make my tea-bagging dream a reality. 

thank you ladies of handmade life, i look forward to sharing this project and joining you for some other sessions. x