Tuesday 28 February 2017

just call me love, self love!

As I mentioned in my last post, i wanted to do a little debrief on my recent 14 day BE MY OWN EFFIN VALENTINE mindset makeover.

Everyone of those 14 day self-love thought bubbles gave me something to explore, challenge, work on and actually come away feeling and thinking a bit differently about some aspects of my life. Some I was already on board with and some have become added, or enhanced to stock up the janijans life tool belt.

So here's what i took away.


So i am always telling everyone how amazing I am, in a non show pony kind of way. People sometimes take a step back and get a bit freaked out, but i am happy to own it. So for me the mirror mantra had to be something that kind of summed how i see myself - a life slayer. hahaha. i also added another one to the mirror. I LOVE MYSELF. And this is for anyone who happens to visit my bathroom and looks in the mirror and is confronted with that same uncomfortable feeling of "oh shit, everything didn't flush away, what do i do. do i do a double flush and hope that no one notices" kind of feeling. Own the double flush and own the big pink sign and go - oh that was uncomfortable. And if that big pink sign does make you uncomfortable, then i suggest read it again and again and stay in there till the beads of self love sweat disappear, or refrain from using my bathroom.

I'm a big believer in gratitude and am truly amazed at how this simple practice can make such a difference to life. I've started a gratitude wall so i can be reminded each time i walk past of the many wonderful people and things i have in my life. 
My friend has this amazing connection to the universe and has no fear asking for what she wants. I'm an incredibly spiritual person and my gut feeling and intuition are always almost on point. These are 2 different things but with a strong connection and I'd like to open myself to the universe a bit more. So along with the gratitude post its, i am also asking the universe for more. Let's see hey. Nothing wrong with asking right!

Last night my friend messaged me and reminded me to ask the universe for what it want. Lo and behold i receive a message from a charming young man and i can assure you this is not what i asked the universe for. no no never especially with either of these buffoons. This is just another in a long line of not so suitable suitors who just know how to make a lady feel special. So old, tired and boring...and i am not talking about me!

I am so lucky that in my younger life i was given some great tools to keep me mindful. I've never been that much of a meditator as such but one of my top tricks was to do this every hour - stop and drop my shoulders. Try that one at home, or in the office, or wherever. Having your tight tense shoulders squashed up against your ears is very unromantic, cause there is better things to have rubbing up against this area. So leave the shoulders where they belong. It's amazing how much of a tension measure this is.

Now more than ever i need to nourish and more holistically. this week i think i reached my low in terms of knowing what to do next in my current circumstances and i'm actually sick and it sucks. Of course i will keep doing what i am doing to support my son, but i also have to look out for me. I am feeling pretty run down and as someone who is so in sync with their body, it's sending me a message.

It's time for my self-love smoothie, It isn't the green smoothie, but a detox smoothie instead.

blueberries (i hate blueberries, but i am going with the flow)
banana, fresh or frozen
coconut water or milk
vegan protein powder AND
milk thistle extract.

I'll keep you posted on this one but i don't have a pic of it yet, cause dah....i haven't made it. But if Janice Dickinson and her smoothie is anything to go by, then i am scared, very very scared.

So music has always been part of my life. Going to sleep with music has been a bigger part and up until my son arrived, i would put my bose on and slumber off with this background treat every night. He's not really into it, so i have not had this for a few months now and i really miss it.  And i'll be EFFed if im gonna move the bose in and out of my room each day. No No No. So rather than continuing to miss out on this really important part of my daily ritual, seems like a trip to JB Hifi is on the cards to restore law and order and bring beautiful music back to my sleeping ears. And then i can have my happy and sleepy tunes without causing anyone else discomfort.


Each to their own, but how can you not love to dance. I am still doing my salsa dancing, but with any life changing circumstances, you need to modify what you do to make room for other stuff that needs attention. when i do go to salsa class, it doesn't matter how you feel, one thing is guaranteed, you will walk away feeling like you are floating on air. One of my all time favourite dance floor tunes is Praise by Fat Boy Slim. When my old neighbour got married many years back this was their wedding dance song..so cool. I was dancing to this in the lounge room the other day and to my surprise, my son joined in for a moment. I was great to see that little bit of joy come across his face.

If you are in Melbourne and want to feel the power of dance and get a bit out of your comfort zone, then i encourage you to check out the silent disco run by Guru Dudu. I have done 2 now and really need to do another before they finish up soon. There are happy tunes and dance galore and the endorphins flow faster than passion pop at a school formal.

Yep, i have made one and will read one each day for me, and one to share with another.  As part of my conscious living this year, i want to reach out to people. I really do believe that the world is such a small place and we don't do enough to connect with others. i also have thought of some other ways to use this love jar as well. Not for anything weird, but to maybe put other notes in there that i wish to share apart from beautiful things i would love to hear someone say to me.

I am all over this one.  My smile is as big as a fucking sunrise and i share it willingly.  Smiling is one of those things that you can use to FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. If you feel crap, just smile - lift those little things up that sit on the side of your mouth. (I call them crusticles)
ORRRRRRR print out my smiling face and stick it on your fridge.  You are bound to smile back when you are confronted with this ball of smiley face everyday.

Am i loving my choices?  Yes, yes and yes. i have been guilty of making choices that were not in the best interest for me but you do them for various reasons and even i knew that some of them were just dumb. I have to say that the weird and sometimes wonderful world of online dating has actually opened my eyes to the very real issues that me and other women face when you have the audacity to say no to a man. What this has given me is a new found empowerment to stand up for myself in a variety of forums. I laugh off the pathetic responses when I challenge someones poor behaviour for not accepting their inability to accept that no means no. I'll be more than happy to wear around a t-shirt that says i'm a bitch, or pathetic, or uptight, or bitter or old fat and angry cause i said NO! Haaaa and on that back it could say - i tried online dating and all i got was this lousy t-shirt.......

Okay so I am still good at celebrating others people's wins and not so much my own....Sort that shit out janijans.  So i am a big believer in linking.  Whether it's the link arms and dosey do, kind of thing, or when you have something you want to change and you decide to attach the thought to something you already have or do.  SO I NEED TO CELEBRATE MORE.  People often ask me why i have writing on my hand at times - so school girl i know - but often if i have something i want to be mindful of, i just write it on me.  It catches my attention and then becomes the reality. Sooooo to remind me to CELEBRATE, i have done this.
and i'll keep refreshing it till it becomes second nature.  I'm gonna get a giant bag of party poppers tomorrow as well, cause firstly i am all out and i love them and secondly, what better way to acknowledge my wins then with a small explosion of popping goodness. I spose i could pop a fart, but not always appropriate. I'm getting a bit excited about this now. (wish i had one right now)  can you imagine it.... I make the perfect crema on my coffee...POP. when i wake up with the perfect bed hair - POP POP and when i actually find 2 socks that match in my draw....POP POP POP.  i see good times ahead.

Day 11.  GO SLOW

I can't tell you how much i love to go slow....to be silly, to have fun and to play. I love to lie on the couch and daydream, I love to play pool, play in the sand, board games, card games....i don't care, i just love anything that connects with my inner child and when i saw this ad on telly recently, i realised that i need this in my life....it's up there with nerf guns, which i also need in my life.
I am actually going out quite a bit without my phone as well.  hahahaha i even went on a tinder coffee date recently and forgot to take my phone. If i wanted that "get me out of here" fake emergency call, it was never gonna arrive.  I would just have to be upfront and say - hey, sorry, you just aint making my pecker pop.  thanks, nice to meet you and all the best.


So yes, i am taking the leap. The two things i am passionate about are slowly churning. one is finding LOVE - when you realise that you have settled for less than you actually deserve for far to long then it's okay to invest some time into doing it properly. i have been going on "some meet and greets, let's make awkward small talk and no i am not coming home to fuck you so don't even ask" moments. some of those frogs should never had made it past tadpole stage. they could do with a fairy god mother to come and give them a good talking to about how to treat a woman and sprinkle them with a little magic decency dust. So as part of my conscious living in relation to dating....here's my new rules.  I am only meeting for coffee for a first date and probably a second.  A genuine man who may hold the same values and wants the same outcome as me will hopefully respect and understand the method in my madness.

i am reading an amazing book at present and i can't share just yet, as it is gong to be pivotal to a very personal journey i am undertaking and want to share.  It has the concept of READY AIM FIRE. So often we spend so much time looking for the target to take aim at, that we never actually take the shot. The leap of faith advice is to take the shot.  Go see where it landed on your target and adjust the next shot knowing how far or close you were to the bullseye.  Do something, rather than nothing.

who knows, you could just end up doing something you never though possible in one of the fashion capitals of the world.

I actually feel like a bit of a super me. I don't like to compare and I love to inspire.  I am reading a book at present that i will begin to share and as I read it and did the action steps, this passage in the book really struck a chord with me. No matter what experiences I have had in my life - many traumatic, many life changing, many that i have just gone WHAT THE FUCK, one thing has been constant.  My ability to cope and find a way forward. Regardless.

The mature human being goes about doing what needs to be done regardless of whether that person feels great or terrible. Knowing that you are the kind of person with that kind of self-control brings all the satisfaction and confidence you will ever need.  Even on days when the satisfaction and confidence just aren't there, you can get the job done anyway.....

This really sums up my get up and go attitude, however the "mature" bit, i don't really agree with. A very dear friend and colleague recently told me that i have 2 powerful gifts.  One is my ability to think differently and the other is my knack of communicating it.  I feel that there is a place for me to really harness this and use it to help others  READY AIM FIRE.


My heart is so awakened and opened and ready to invite more in. Hell, i'll even leave a spare key at the concierge desk to just make the delivery easier.....BRING IT ON!
So after undertaking that 14 day makeover I really do feel more inspired and excited to look at some things through a new lens and keep my momentum going.

My next post is going to be the start of a journey that i never imagined i would be undertaking, but it's timely and totally aligned with my year and life of living consciously. I expect that there could be a bit of WTF.......but that's okay cause i am on my own journey and i always welcome others to come along for the ride and glean anything that they can take away and use and use it with gusto.


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