Tuesday 28 November 2017

DSTSS - Listen to your heart

95. Trust your intuitive heart

My gut feeling has always proven to be right, however, sometimes i just haven't listened to what it was trying to tell me.  Why is that?

Heart over head, I listened when it told me to ignore my mothers insistence to return a DVD to a store, to later find out the store had been held up, right when I would have been there.
Head over heart, I didn't listen when it told me to run a mile from the man I eventually married.
Heart over head, when I listened to the voice that told me something wasn't okay with my son when he insisted everything was fine just before sharing that he had an addiction.
Head over heart, when I have set of on some journeys only to find delay, disruptions and complications and my ultimate response was.....I knew I shouldn't have done that!

Heart over head has always been a big player in my life. I have used my dreams to guide me for many years and it's time to return to giving my intuitive heart the attention it deserves again, cause it is right, it is always fucking right. I feel like I have let my head lead the way on some occasions even though I knew it hasn't been right and rather that believing what I know to be right, I have chosen to believe what I wanted to be right and it has been wrong.  Go figure.  Does that make sense?  It's like I decided to follow a map, but knew the direction to the destination all along.
My gut feeling has also led me to some amazing people through that instant feeling like I should go to an event for example. It just makes itself known and I listen. I talked about the trigger for my panic attacks in an earlier post where I talked about the subtle feeling I got when one was about to happen. Well it's kind of the same with my gut feeling. Sometimes, it's in my gut, or a tingle or a flash in my mind and depending on how it manifests determines the attention I give it.

I always talk about my journey of "being" and a couple of questions popped up for me today and they are ones which align with me being out of my comfort zone, but now being really aware of it.
1. Why is it I have put other people's feelings and needs above my own when my instinct has told me otherwise?
2. Why haven't I listened to my intuitive heart when it comes to matters of the heart?
3. Why don't we have the courage to walk away when something doesn't feel right?

The last one is something that i think most people could relate to.  The bad relationship, the shitty job, anything or anyone that makes you feel uneasy but you don't have the courage to stand up and listen to what feels right within.  Our confidence may play a big part in this.

One of my biggest challenges and now opportunities has been my fear and confidence to use my voice at times when I really wanted to. I know right, super-confident me sounds like she isn't confident so much, but the journey of growth requires us to acknowledge those things that hold us back from being continually better, so I have turned to some sleep time meditation (meditation - the best medication) in order to help me tune back into my "sense of self" so I can have some more clarity and confidence in using my voice to align with what my gut feeling is telling me.  I have had a few experiences where I have said yes to things that I wish I had not have and I would have felt better for not doing so, but I went along with it because I listened to my head and not my heart.

Our gut feeling really is a great communicator, and in the book it is recommended that we just sit in silence for a moment and let thoughts flow through our mind and pay attention to the ones that aren't our usual babble that goes on in our heads. Pay attention to the ones that may be giving us ideas that align with our vision or goals, or answers to the questions we seek or alert us to something not being right with our body or situations we may be in. Let it come naturally and trust that it is right and more importantly have the courage to act on it. 

I know one of my mantras has been to say yes to everything and that still remains, but even after saying yes, if it doesn't feel right, then don't go along with it.  Again have the courage to speak up for what is right for you, even if it isn't what someone else wants to hear.  Be true to your own heart.
So how do i challenge the fact that I find random hearts in the most random places as i go about my business? Maybe they are a reminder of what i need to be paying attention to? My heart!

Note to self: listen, listen listen - listen to what it is you need to know.  Listen to the life force within you and trust it. See where it takes you and know that it may give you the easiest path to where you need to be.

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