DSTSS - Bring it on

85. Transform your relationship to your problems

Mirror mirror on the wall, who has the biggest problems of all.....

 "the philosophy of acceptance is to go with the flow" 

or as I'd like to put it.....Make your problems your bitch!

The concept of keeping an open heart is one that is very near and dear to me, as is being able to face a problem and deciding how much energy I plan to invest in it. I think I have mentioned one of my favourite sayings before........don't invest a thousand dollars into a five cent problem. Think of all the emotional change we will have left over to use on other things when we only invest the right amount of energy to suit the size of the problem.  The rest can be used on yourself, or your loved ones.

I am really fascinated about how humans look at their problems and not only make sense of them, but how they work through them and come up with a solution. The message I take away from this chapter is that our happiness will increase and our problems will seem less when we remove our attachment to those that we really can't control and accept that the turning tide of life will continue to throw challenges our way, many of which we have no control over. I personally have had to deal with problems that are both financial and human; each of which came with their own set of rules, variances and outcomes that I have had to accept and make the most of. And in doing so, i became more free, more grateful and more humble and believe it or not, more fearless in my ability to deal with the tough parts of life. Further personal growth came my way and my kind heart continued to open even under the strain I was feeling.

Having said all that, someone near and dear to me has just encountered a series of problems in one short period of time and all have potential to cause serious stress and impact.  So how on earth do you try and keep your sanity when the magnitude is so big that you can't even think how you could possibly see a way through them.  My advice is always to STOP, ASSESS and ACT. Just really stop for a moment, take a breather and get a clear head. Is there a quick win that you can knock over straight away and then move on to search out solutions for those that have a more detrimental impact?  Can you ditch those little things that you thought were big and focus on what the really serious shit is.  Have you decided the difference between the thousand dollar and five cent problems?

It can be really frightening to have to confront a big problem.  So let's face facts, it probably isn't just going to go away, so don't prolong the anxiety that will continue to grow if you choose to put your head in the sand and let it escalate. But what is also important, is to remember that the really big problems may also affect other people along the way, so recognising that we may need to be kinder to our self and others in order to work through them is also so so important. How nice to know that you haven't been an arsehole along the problem solving superhighway and that everyone's needs and feelings have remained intact.

As my nana would say, pay yourself first! And by this, I mean that you need to be in the best possible position to be able to cope with the stress that will come from having to deal with a bigger than expected problem. For me, ensuring that I kept up with my inner and outer work, meant my resilience remained strong and my ability to cope flowed in the best way possible.

Note to self:  If you have a problem that is bugging you, hold your hand out to it and welcome it into your life. Let it be your teacher, your friend, your coach and your heart starter.  Let it help you to grow. Transform your relationship to your problems and begin to transform your relationship to life and keep that heart beating peacefully and lovingly.