Monday 7 August 2017

DSTSS - I need somebody to love

84. Nurture a plant

The art of loving unconditionally is truly an art. My grandmother was the queen of this art form and i wonder if it came from her love of plants and gardening. She nurtured them, talked to them, cared for them, gave them food and water and never wanted anything from them apart from them to be happy, flourish and sprout a flower or two. The return for her was years of joy and pleasure and many awards that she won in gardening competitions. The one below is from 1966, the year i was born.  She loved her plants unconditionally, like she loved her people. Gee that sounds pretty much what we would like our relationships to be like, doesn't it. Except, sometimes, they are like this....I love you but!

As i said, unconditional love is an art form because accepting people for who they are doesn't seem to be our natural state of play. I believe we all have the right - to be, to explore, to experience, to learn from our mistakes, to know we are good enough, worthy and valued as a human being.  Even in the moments when we or others disappoint or don't live up to expectation, unconditional love is essential.

My disclaimer here though is that we can't change anyone or force them to change to meet our idealistic ways but, if like me you have in the past or continue to accept poor behaviour towards you, or love that comes with unrealistic conditions, then it's okay to question the interactions or relationship with another, and make a choice as to whether you will let the behaviour go, change the way you deal with it, or walk away from it. If your unconditional love for someone compromises your health and wellbeing, then question whether that is healthy.

And so often there are conditions on what we do... things often come with an emotional cost, not with the freedom of giving or spirit.  I will only love you if.....and this is often displayed in actions that are given and received.

This chapter of the book talks about nurturing a plant to help you love unconditionally and lead you down the garden path of true happiness.   I am excellent at killing plants but great at loving unconditionally.
The theory is that a plant will just "be". It won't do anything to hurt you or make you annoyed, it wont chew your manolos and it isn't gonna poop on the carpet.  Put the plant somewhere it will be visible all the time and engage with it daily. Put yourself into a loving mindset each time you look at your plant. Learn to love it, touch it, talk to it and care for it without expectation. As your heart begins to expand with this simple loving practice, your need to put conditions on others will shrink.
Note to self: If you think it's going to be hard giving love to a plant, then start with a pet rock. The end result will be the same because it's all about the action of loving unconditionally. And really, who couldn't love a face like that!

1 comment:

  1. I kind of get this my grandma has a degree in botany and loves planting, whenever we find her shes in the garden planting! we have a very beautiful garden because of her.