Friday, 2 June 2017

DSTSS - it wasn't me

79. Stop blaming others

what's the definition of irony......when you write a cracking post about not blaming others for your problems, only to find that when you go to save it, it all crashes....who do you blame here? me or the technology? well it doesn't really matter who or what is to blame, the reality is that it happened and I'll just write another one and move on. No harm, No foul, No blame, just action. So here goes with take 2!  Maybe that's all i need to say about blame? However it seems to be a bit of a buzzword this week...
I took a little diversion on my don't sweat the small stuff blogging journey when i decided to share my 14 day mindset makeover and then the biggie, when i took a journey to stop drinking alcohol.  I am now 100 days alcohol free and am loving every minute of it. I feel so much more present and being present is a big part of not sweating any small stuff. No matter what goes down, I can never say TEQUILA MADE ME DO IT......and trust me, tequila has made me do some CRAZY things, all in the name of fun!  Areeba
Everything i write about is based on my own personal experiences and some of them have been pretty traumatic, but rather than playing the blame game and letting other people's actions take me hostage, I emotionally fought back and chose to accept them, embrace them, and use them to build my resilience and my determination to live a life that is peaceful, free and most importantly, happy. Yes, happy.  It is possible to be happy even when other people's actions give good reason to affect you deeply or just plain annoy you. I'm not a control freak, but i do like to have control over things i invest my energy into and blame isn't one of them.

It makes me a bit sad when i hear stories of people who are stuck in aspects of their life because of things that have happened to them in the past.  People who aren't able to live to their full potential, and blame other people or events for their life not going as planned. There can be really deep seeded emotional wounds, but there is also the everyday really small stuff that isn't worth investing the time to get annoyed about.

I remember once sitting in my coffee shop in Brisbane and there was a guy who would come in and he was a heroin addict. One day he was blaming his mum for the way his life was.  His mum seemed to always look out for him and be genuinely nice and yet it was as though she gave must have given him the drugs and forced him to use them.

It's a really empowering thing to be able to take control of your emotions and feelings and yes, it may not be easy to let go of those past hurts, but right this minute it is possible to start a process of change by how you react when something happens that you think someone else was responsible for. It's a very powerful feeling when you own your reactions and your choices and your life.
Note to self: Break up with that "B" word called blame, cause there are better B words to bandy around that could describe your intent. Try being BAD-ASS or BEST IN SHOW or BETTER BETTER AND BETTER or a BUBBLE OF JOY rather than a blamer cause it isn't going to add to your happiness. Being accountable might be a strange thing at first, but it will be stranger to those around you when you go "ok, shit happens, let's move on" #smileyface

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