Monday 6 March 2017

Day 5. The Believe-In-Yourself Solution

Believing in yourself and believing it is possible

Okay get a cup of tea....cause i'm going to babble on about self belief.  Oh man, this is hard, cause each day there is a whole new thing to bend my brain cells and consider and challenge my thinking. I'll make an A grade student yet.   It's day 5 and the comfort zone level is not that comfortable.

It's really hard to believe in yourself when you don't have any self belief.  I see so many people do amazing things and yes i do amazing things, but i think there's another level of self belief we are capable of.  Like i am on the mezzanine level of self belief and i want to be at the penthouse.  It's like i know i am capable of doing most things, but i want to believe that i can reach beyond anything possible and achieve my wildest dreams.  My own self limiting beliefs sometimes keep me sitting just behind the start line at times.

Today we had to think back the days before we stopped drinking - to the old me. Was sitting on the couch drinking glass after glass of wine a great choice or is the feeling of sitting on the couch now with a clear head a great choice.  I can tell you that having 5 days of supported alcohol abstinence feels pretty darn good.  I feel really present. What i am learning to believe is that it is possible to go without alcohol, it is possible to have fun and be happy without alcohol.  In fact, i did this everyday until that point came where i poured a glass of wine.

With my journey of being alcohol free, I have to overflow with self belief so that changing the habit of drinking becomes effortless. I have to get to the penthouse of self belief. They say in the book that its possible to either give up completely, or cut back to a take it or leave it level and it's determined by what we believe we can do.

My brain has had to absorb a lot today starting with our theme - we have to believe we can. We look at the turning point where we began to understand the flow of the program and shift our thinking towards being alcohol free. We have to acknowledge the number 1 reason.....the no 1 reason why people don't thrive in sobriety is because they don't believe they can so it's easier not to try. Teetolling was the buzzword. We understood the power of the placebo and how we can believe what we want to believe. And lastly the confirmation bias - where we believe something because we want it to be true, not because it's necessarily so.

They were good action items today, so i got right into them.

Action 1. Review the list of teetotallers
There's a whole lot of them - Ice T (my future drink of choice) Fat Boy Slim, Kristin Davis, so so many and let's not forget POTUS. President Trump.  he doesn't drink and thank fuck for that i say. Imagine him after a few shots of tequila, groping girls, threatening to build a big wall, telling people they are fired and having access to that know the one, the one that says "push in case of emergency". I'm out of tequila, let's push that button and get another bottle delivered. oh hang on, it has to come from mexico" Aren't we lucky he doesn't drink. Clearly his hair has had a big night though.
Action 2. Stop using CAN'T
I love to use the word can't but it usually has the letter U in it. Can't is one of those words that straightaway sets us up for a fail. I can't stop this, or I can't do that. It's creating a limiting belief.  So i have to be conscious about using the wrong C word.

Action 3. Confirmation bias and your drinking
Use the truths, rather than believing what you think is the truth. And this isn't just in relation to drinking but other aspects of life where you might be self limiting.

* red wine is good for you - is it, if you drink so much that it's affecting your life and the life of others
* i don't drink as much as so and so, so i mustn't have a problem - if i am drinking enough to think i have a problem, then it doesn't matter what anyone else does. I probably have a problem
And today went something like this.
Still unwell
had a terrible sleep
entering into my 5th alcohol free day.

I was asked out for a drink date. I declined the booze and agreed to go for a coffee date instead.  He was a dud - alcohol wouldn't have made him any better!

I have enjoyed not having alcohol in my life this week.
7pm - not wanting to drink, but drinking lots of tea
8.30pm - did feel like a wine but only because i was feeling a bit stressed, not because i actually wanted it.
Celebrating 5 alcohol free days and have planted the seed in my son's head that this is a very powerful book for anyone dealing with not only addiction but who wants to make life change.

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