Sunday, 5 March 2017

Day 4. The Forgiveness Solution

Embracing forgiveness and creating and abundance of love and happiness
Today we had to let go of the past and step into the future of a life filled with happiness and joy.  As i read through the chapter, we had to drop everything and start to write in our journal about the people we need to forgive and why - it didn't all have to be done to day, cause could you image writing a list of those folk.....the guy who cut you off in traffic back in 1986,  the old lady who cut in front of you in the woolies queue back in 1993, the bitch that took the last pack of tim tams in 2007.....are you wondering why this is even relevant?  well it is, because people hold onto shit. Stuff that happened last century. People hold onto it and let it drive their miserable life forward. Instead of feeling freedom and spirit (not the let's have a flaming lamborghini) but the spirit of life that isn't glued to painful events of the past.

We can keep blaming everyone else till the cows come home for why our life is why it is, but girl, those cows aren't coming home but when those chickens come home to roost you might want to have the kettle on the boil, so you can make them a nice cup of tea and send them on their way.
 
I remember when i was a teenager, my girlfriend said to me.....how is it you don't blame people for problems in your life. Seriously, this was our teenage conversation. She said that i could have so many people to be angry at yet i didn't lay blame on anyone or anything. Life just was what it was and i rolled with it. 

In my early 30's i did start to do some forgiveness.  I did feel angry at some people and especially at some events of my life, but i chose to free myself from this cause i knew it was holding me back.  I have read and reread the Louse Hay book You Can Heal Your Life and it focuses on forgiveness and self love and i give it a lot of credit. Our power is right here in this present moment and it's here we can choose how to use it.

So when i had to do my first action item today, i didn't feel i had anyone to forgive, including myself. I'm not angry with my parents, my siblings, my teachers, people who bullied me at school, old colleagues, I can't find anyone.  I have forgiven them all, even those who have done unthinkable things to me. I don't have to forget, or trust those people again, but i have the power of my own freedom.

So here's my dilemma.....I don't have anyone to forgive, and yet i have had some stupid drinking practices that i have acknowledged and am changing.  I guess i was always my own unique little being.

If you are following on my journey, and feel that you are being held back by events from the past, then forgiveness may be what it is that takes you forward.  It is hard to forgive people who have caused genuine pain, but try, and allow yourself to take back your power. Don't give it to anyone else.

There wasn't a lot of action items today (but they are big ones) but we covered off all this - our theme Forgiveness. Embrace it and go about creating an abundance of love in our life. The slippery slope, where we associate drinking with fun and freedom and eventually find ourself drinking everyday and in larger quantities and for all the wrong reasons.  We looked at what we deserve - and had to acknowledge that what we deserve is what we get - i deserve a life where i can achieve amazing things, and it doesn't have to involve excessive alcohol. We have to forgive ourself to free ourself and learn to love ourself -this is coming from someone who has a giant pink I LOVE YOU post it smack bang on my bathroom mirror. I'm gonna link back to my recent self-love debrief here, in case you want some tips. Go look in the mirror and say i love you for starters  It's really difficult for many people, but love is the answer and will help us on the way making this change.

Forgiveness is the only way we can release ourself from the past  

Action 1. Complete the total truth process
Start to forgive and release that guilt, resentment, anger and shame. I wrote the following:

I am forturnate to have done so much forgiving of myself and others.  I acknowledge, accept, release and move on.  I am very thankful that i don't hold onto the past.

Action 2. Forgiveness affirmation and mantra.
We have to keep this close by and be a repeat offender.
I release myself from all demands and judgments that have kept me limited.  I allow myself to be free to live in joy, love, peace and sobriety.  I allow myself to create fulfilling relationships, to have success in my life, to experience pleasure, to know that i am worthy and deserve to have what i want. I am now free. I release all others from any demands and expectations i have placed on them. I choose to be free.  I allow others to be free. I forgive myself and I forgive them.  And so it is.

I LOVE MYSELF

It's all quite fucking deep, but then you can only make change if you are prepared to dig deep.

So how did i feel today?  Not much to report.

I didn't sleep well - I'm sick.
7pm.  I feel like a glass of wine, but am having soda water and a cup of herbal tea instead.  I can see me and tea becoming firm friends.  I also revisited my vision.

If Carrie Bradshaw believes in self-love, then who i am to argue and so i go forward 4 days alcohol free and with a whole lot of learnings and a whole lot to come. x

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