DSTSS - practice practice practice.

70. Remember that you become what you practice most

i can't tell you how great it feels to be in a place where there is zero negativity in my life and i think it is showing on me not only from an inward peacefulness, but also with an outward glow.

i have always found a way to find the good in any situation, but when it has involved a constant negative force, it becomes challenging to be the person you want to be.

one of the things i shared when i had my last EAP session was that i wanted to find that person who was so carefree and spirited but who began to feel the effects of the environmental situation that i was in. the environment where i wanted to sprinkle positive sparkles everywhere regardless, only to have them blown away with negativity.

it didn't matter how many times i always looked on the bright side of things, it was always met with negativity - even to the point that i sometimes felt guilty because i could so easily adapt to the situations that were occurring in my life at the time.  it didn't matter how much i wanted to sprinkle those sparkles and hope they would find their way to bring sparkle to other people, it was never going to happen.

while i practiced trying to see the glass half full, those around me practiced seeing the glass half empty or even empty.  can you imagine how hard that is to be in that space.  oh man.

when i look at this chapter, i see that how it related to me when i started this project was that i could have so easily gone into a spiral of anger and negativity, cause the reality was that the reason i started doing this was because of some really full on stuff.

so i became what i practiced most - i became more determined not to let a really terrible situation break me, i became more determined to live in the moment, i became more determined to be accepting of what was and not let it take over my thoughts or actions and i became more determined to remain positive and deal with the blows that kept coming my way.

i became what i practiced most - it wasn't easy but given the circumstances, there was never going to be a good outcome, but how i chose to navigate it, is what helped me through and enabled me to decide that i wanted a more positive future.

Habits can be hard to break, and it's only by making the choice to either continue on with your habits, or consciously make a choice each time you are faced with a challenging situation that will help you to either grow in a positive way, or shrink in a negative one.  it comes down to choice.

Note to self: it's just as easy to practice what you want to become as it is not to. but if you want to become a more peaceful, kind, humbled compassionate human, then practice doing it. And that doesn't just apply to temperament, it can apply to anything you pursue in life.  i love my sparkle, and i can feel it beginning to leave its sparkly trail wherever i go.