Wednesday 25 November 2015

this is for the women

the spotlight is currently on domestic violence - in its many forms - physical, sexual, emotional, psychological - there is others and they all deserve to have a separate spotlight shone on them to bring these horrific situations into the light (pardon the pun), and it needs to be until the message gets through.

Violence against women is what today's action is about, but i acknowledge that this issue crosses a gender reversal as well, along with people in same sex relationships who are suffering at the hands of the person who loves them.

sadly though, i feel that the message is heard but not actioned by the men who are faced with a choice each time they are in a situation where they can't cope.
i wore white today as respect for all the women who have, are and will suffer at the hands of the men who love them but who will sometimes choose to love them to death.

it takes a lot of courage to speak up and make change and today, i also wore white for me. i have nothing to fear.

emotional abuse is a silent epidemic that affects hundreds of thousands of women.  it isn't visible - people probably think you are having a bad day, or are sick or cranky - but maybe there is a reason for this, maybe it's because they are struggling with a situation that they don't understand and can't find a way to reconcile.

i publicly share this for the women who have felt emotionally humiliated, publicly and privately, emotionally guilty, been the reason why fun happy situations suddenly turn hostile, why sleeping on the couch is just as horrible as sleeping in the bed, while holding your tongue means you aren't on the end of more angry words and actions, watching while rage ensues and things get thrown and smashed, while your stomach turns and your mind spins and you get asked, is this how you are going to be, while tantrums unfold and doors are slammed, while you have get on with it, regardless of the tears you shed and the tears you hold back, while you shake and feel fearful while your mind wonders what triggered that, what did i do, when you actually did nothing, while you get payback and bullied and frightened and have to live with the mental and physical distress that will hound you because it's all your fault.... while your inner voice has the courage to speak up and the outer voice begs for change, knowing that the words are heard but not understood.

this is for the women who have the courage to say enough and the women who want the courage to say enough and the women who may find themselves not knowing that they may need the courage at some stage.

don't ever assume that the outwardly perfect looking relationship isn't harbouring a deeper issue that deserves to have a light shone on it, as this issue is just as dangerous as the physical - it just leaves inward scars, not outward ones.


  1. I am so happy to see that you are creating awareness about the absuse many female go through. whenever any women get abused they should speak up and fight for themselves.

    1. Thanks, It is very hard to speak up and tackle this without further pain and suffering that my come. I was lucky. And if i can help one other woman, then i will feel as though i have done something to help another move forward.