Saturday, 24 October 2015

DSTSS - go with the flow - literally....

65. Be flexible with your plans

I know this sounds wanky, but i found that learning to be flexible was one of the biggest turning points in my life.  it enabled me to be fluid, flowing and peaceful as i was able to deal with any change that came my way. don't worry people, it wasn't easy, cause i was a uptight as a jack in the box ready to release the spring load and pounce.

it's quite amazing how when we don't adhere to our "must do" plan, that life presents us with so many opportunities to both enjoy and also be challenged by.

i remember once not long after i had been diagnosed with my panic attacks and anxiety (way back in the 90's) i had started my therapy for this, which was really just using a total body relaxation method and talking to a doctor who threw me a lot of "what if's"...
...so what if you are late
...so what if you don't get all the housework done
...so what if you have panic attack

my heart was racing at the thought...

...so what ..... life will go on.

well in the end, it came down to the reality that nothing bad would happen in those "what if" moments that my brain was so attuned to. but in fact, better things happened - i learned patience, tolerance, flexibility - all which are so vital for having peace in your life.

with learning to let go of the jack in the box pressure i was putting on myself, i was able to start living and living in a way that was flexible and fun.
i know how it can be quite irritating to be interrupted, when you are doing something so important, or your plans change so suddenly that it becomes hard to let it go and with that i will share something that happened to me this week.

i'd been sick this week with a stupid cold, which by friday morning had seemed to be gone.  i headed off to work, making plans for my day (i have a big week long course to prepare for - starting monday) and i was thinking about what i had to do and going about my business in a team meeting when i suddenly felt ill. i can't tell you how long it's been since i had the chuck ups, but today was my lucky day.

i sat there for a bit with this wave of nausea flooding over me and excused myself and went and chucked up.  not once, but about 5 rounds of chuck ups - that's a lot of chuck ups.  i went to the first aid room and lay down and was visited by 2 first aid officers (safety in numbers). they took my temp, my blood pressure, cleaned up after me and then arranged for a visit to the doctor.  a doctor who could only fit me in between patients.  how flexible is that.  they didn't say no, they found a way to make sure i was taken care of. flexibility came with my first aiders giving up their time and their work commitments, the doctor for fitting me in and from me, not chucking up anywhere between the office and the doctors room. for the people i work with, it know it's part of their role, but i am so grateful they didn't just put me in a cab and send me home.

however, i did catch a cab home after all that and was asked if was pregnant......not sure whether to be offended, or flattered!
note to self: in taking on any project (just like this once) being flexible has been the key.  time hasn't always been on my side, but being flexible about what i can and can't do, is bringing me closer to the end of the book all while i continue on with it.  the positive effects are still flowing my way and everyday, i remind myself that anything can happen to change your plans and it's easier to go with it, rather than fight it.

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