Monday 22 June 2015

the what i wore project - week 25

after my heinous shopping adventures last week, i managed to rustle up a few good outfits for the week - thank goodness - using some new and old items from the closet and here are the looks.

of course this week was fashion focussed, but it was also family focussed with the upcoming birthday of my son who turned 30 yesterday and for me this meant a time of celebration, and also reflecting on the past 30 years of his life and my life - who i was then compared to now, what kind of parent was i then compared to now, have those wishes of what i hoped my child's life would be like come to fruition, where did i succeed or fail as a parent and most importantly, is my child a happy human being, who can deal with life's challenges. i think it is really important to reflect on many aspects of life and i actually don't think that my mother would reflect in the same way about her life or mine.

i certainly don't feel or look like i am old enough to have a 30 year old, but i am and i remember the day he was born just like it happened yesterday. i was 18, my partner and i were both overjoyed and overwhelmed at this new life that we had created at such a young age - but we have both been committed and loving parents and will continue to be. i gave my son a financial gift today but also told him that my ongoing love for him is no doubt the best gift i could possibly give.

we were a single parent family for a long time and his welfare and wellbeing were on the top of my list before anything else and i hope that my contribution to his life has made a difference. i hope it has given him the strength when he needs it and to show care and love to himself and others and go forward into this next stage of his life with confidence and the ability to make the most of his life regardless of what challenges he may face. i know for me, life didn't start to fall into place till my early 30's and i hope that this next chapter is a fulfilling one for him.

happy birthday to my beautiful boy and for any parents out there who may have doubts about whether you are doing the right thing - well children don't come with a "how to be a great parent" manual - there's generally the tradition and the experiences we had from being parented that guides us.

i do recall as a teenager thinking that when i had children, i would be a much different parent than mine were. i didn't want my child growing up in a world where "no" "you can't do that" and "why would you want to do that" were pretty common, and even now, i am still met with those same things from my mother and i am 48 for fucks sake.

i have upheld that decision i made as a teenager to be a different parent and it feels great. i don't do or say any of the things my mum did and said. i support 100% and the biggest piece of advice i got when he was nearly grown up, was that this is his journey and who i am to try and make it mine.

change only comes about by wanting and making it happen, so if you want to give yourself the freedom to be the parent you want to be rather than what's expected to be, then go for it. have fun!

so, after all of that, here's what i wore this week - cause that's why i am doing this, right? and i know that my fashion sense has definitely changed after 30 years.

monday i wore a pattern clash. this is a fave of mine and has been worn before. jumper is from coles, skirt and belt i made myself, boots from jo mercer and earrings from fiji.

never be afraid to pattern clash - it's just like parenting - sometimes the most unexpected things work out.
tuesday i wore some ruffles.  boots from jo mercer, top from unknown, i made the belt and i made the skirt a long long long time ago.  i feel youthful in this pic and i have always struggled with being a youthful mum, but it is what it is and i owned it.
wednesday i wore jumper from harris scarfe, boots from jo mercer, belt from nyc, vinyl skirt from huudaverti and love heart earrings. both of these earrings are different which is probably what happens if you have more than one kid.  they are both great, but not always the same, but you still love them.
thursday, i rugged up and wore snakeskin boots i have had for ten years, velvet skirt made by me, scarf made by my mum, belt from wrangler dfo and jumper from uniqlo and silver hoops.

i loved this look and felt totally like i was walking my own walk and as a parent, we should still do what we love to do, knowing that if you want to wear snakeskin, velvet and rhinestone, then so be it. it's okay to be who you want to be as well.
friday i wore boyfriend jeans from target, men's shoes from stone, jumper from uniqlo, vest from sussan and earrings made by me.  this is also the day that my mother questions why i would choose such a horrible backdrop for my picture. because i am me, that's why and this is what got me thinking about how it is important to not try and create cookie cutter people and lives.
saturday i wore a look that isn't really my look. i wore jeans from target, sneakers from gola, men's shirt from coles, hoops and jacket from sri lanka (gifted by my sister). last time i wore a shirt like this, my son didn't recognise me and on reflection, that's a good thing, it means that i continue to surprise - and who doesn't love a surprise. your kids will, if you let them have ice cream for dinner.
sunday i wore old old boots from jo mercer, jeans from target, scarf knitted by my mum, old jacket from katies, hat from an op shop and a cheeky smile. and why the cheeky smile, becuase i totally trespassed on private property to take this pic and that's okay.  in the realm of life what would it matter and if my kid did it, i would be okay with it, cause we all need to push the boundaries at times to determine what our limits are.
also on sunday is me and the birthday boy, my son who has just turned 30 and who i love so much. i am grateful to be part of his journey.

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