Sunday, 23 March 2014

DSTSS - the waiting game

13.  Become more patient
14.  Create "Patience Practice Periods"

Now i get to move forward another 2 chapters and this really is 2 for the price of 1. Patient and Patience are what's on offer here.

Once again I am turning to my good friend urban dictionary and surprisingly, it hasn't come up with some delightfully crude meaning for the word "patient".  Just to check that urban dictionary hasn't gone soft, i clicked on random a couple of times to ensure it delivers the urban, as it's supposed to.  And yep, after reading some things that i won't repeat here, i am convinced that this was just a genuine offering that someone had included.

Patient - Showing patience; someone who is able to wait for a long period of time with little or no complaint, despite obstacles and difficulties. Considered a virtue. Someone who dosen't bitch as often.


Person A: Wow, we got lost for three hours in San Diego in the hot sun and Alan didn't complain at all!
Person B: Wow, what a patient guy! unlike most of the population who bitch a lot.
Person A: I know....bitches!

I guess that sums it up.

Being patient is a really good thing - according to my book, it goes a long way to creating a more peaceful and loving self. I have to agree.  when i didn't have patience, i always felt frustrated, irritable, hurried and that carried over to my interactions with others.  Once i developed my love of patience, i found i could tackle most things in an easier more gentle way.  It goes hand in hand with acceptance.

Being patient means that no matter what you are doing, you are still going to get to your metaphorical destination, feeling calm, happy and relaxed and that is good for your well being and the well being of others.  When i think about the learning's i had during my treatment for my panic attacks, patience was one of the things the doctor eluded to.  It didn't matter if i was a couple of minutes late or something didn't get finished there and then - the world wasn't going to stop turning and as i developed my patience, i found that the world did in fact keep turning and in a much better way.

Right now though as i am wandering through this period of difficulty in life, i am finding that although my patience is still there, it has waned somewhat and i have to try harder to keep it in place whereas before, it was there, without giving it a second thought.  As our resilience gets tested beyond the norm, the qualities that have carried us through do start to drop off and then that requires more effort to build them up, on top of the problems that have depleted the in the first place.  It's energy zapping stuff.

nana millie comes to mind again, as her ability to remain patient made us all feel better.  She never minded waiting, understood that sometimes things get delayed and interruptions would happen but that was okay.  and if it's good enough for her, it's good enough for me. In fact in her later years, her favourite thing to do, was to play patience (or solitaire) a card game that she loved.  Her well worn deck of cards went with her to the afterlife, just like my well worn relaxation tape will with me.
Now how to develop patience (or patience periods as per the book) - well there are lots of way. how about just trying to be patient for a short time and go from there. when you feel like you are getting frazzled, just stop for a moment, relax and remind yourself that all will be okay, rather than making something bigger then it needs to be - opening the door to frustration and irritation.

If your stuck in traffic - that's okay - the destination will still be there.
If you are stuck in the queue at the shop - so what, it will be your turn soon.
If you get interrupted doing some life changing task - go with it
If you get annoyed because someone wants a piece of your time, then give that person the time they deserve.
And if someone is really going out of their way to test your patience then get a grip on yourself and just fucking relax......

Learning patience, will require much patience and that's a fortune cookie moment, if ever i decide to go into the fortune cookie business.

Note to self:  Being patient is going to make you a better person and help make the people around you feel more at ease.  Don't, however pick up a deck of cards and start playing patience, unless you are really ready to have the potential outcome of this game test your patience.  If so, 52 pick up is probably going to be the only game played if you lose your cool.

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