Thursday, 27 February 2014

DSTSS - Listen up

7.  Don't interrupt others or finish their sentences

I used to work with an awesome guy called Luke - he was an amazing boss and had believed in me and encouraged me so much.  One of the things he used to call me on was interrupting when he was speaking. But i had to interrupt - cause i would get very excited and everything i have to say is so important, could be funny, could be a great idea or maybe i just wanted to be the talker......

I am guilty as charged. I am in interrupter of other people's sentences. However, i don't think i am a finisher of sentences (only of my husband's but that a freaky thing we have shared since we met).

On thinking about this, i have come to the realisation that for someone like me who sometimes lacks confidence, then maybe it's my way of making my "self" seem worthy. sad hey, that you get to this age and sometimes you still don't feel good enough, no matter what you do, or how hard you try to please others.  sometimes it just isn't enough.

but, i am / soon not to be - an interrupter.

On reading chapter 7, i can understand why Luke discouraged me from this practice and rightly so.  It is not a very good thing to do to others.  it requires you to use more energy than necessary, it can achieve very little as you are so busy focusing on the amazing thing you are going to say, that you aren't taking on board what the other person is saying and that seems a little selfish and can become quite annoying for the person who is trying to convey their message.

Further on in the book there is a chapter about being a better listener - which means i am going to have to try extra hard - but i am not sure if my interrupting is a deal breaker with my friends, but hopefully they will have the courage to call me on it, if it is. 

This isn't one of the things that was a life changer for me when i was getting my shit together, in fact i never thought about it, but i will give it a go because on reflection, i don't always need to be the one to speak.  Luckily i am quite self aware, so i hope i can add this skill to my repertoire and if Dick is correct, it will help me to become a more relaxed happier person.

Note to self:  Imagine that you have some gaffer tape on hand and imagine taping  a piece over your mouth to stop you interrupting.....however, if the person who is speaking just won't shut the fuck up, then by all means interrupt!

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