Saturday 15 February 2014

DSTSS - Fuck it's only chapter 2

Make peace with imperfection

Why would i be home on a saturday night blogging - why indeed? cause my life isn't perfect.  If it was, i'd probably be out somewhere having a meal, or seeing a movie, or doing something else that would sum up my perfect life.  But no, my life isn't perfect, but i am really happy with it.  I am making a great meal, having  some wine, and going to get my feet rubbed by my husband.  Now how is that not perfect right at this moment!

I am a virgo - the sign of perfection - according to the star sign oracles - but i was born on the cusp of libra, which is kind of imperfect, cause i am neither virgo, nor libra, but a hybrid.

If i was to be a true virgo, i would be like this perfect example below:

Virgo Traits: Methodical, meticulous, analytical and mentally astute, the Virgo natives are perfectionists to the core, or at least, they like to believe that they are. They are excellent managers, and may even ruthlessly ensure that the work is done, and well done, at that. Fastidious to the tee, they may be perceived as narrow in their outlook, critical and quarrelsome by many. Yet, unperturbed by the others’ view of them, they will go on doing what they feel if right, quietly and with a dogged determination.

when i read about that supposed perfection of my star sign i find it funny and quite frankly, being a virgo sounds hard work - i think i will just be me!

My mate Dick, and i am going to refer to him as Dick, cause really, who doesn't love a bit of Dick (For those who are perfect though, you shall call him Richard, the guy who wrote the book that i am going through). Dick basically says,that in order to have inner peace - which is what i am returning to - then things don't have to be perfect.

In my last blog, i talked about the panic attack that required an ambulance to be called to my house.  I know what happened that day - i tried to be perfect.  I tried to copy someone else's vision of perfection that i had witnessed and it didn't work out so great.  I tried to clean the house, do all the washing, fold all the washing, put all the washing away and do all this other stuff that just totally exhausted me and in reality, probably didn't need to be done.  But i did it and it sucked and at that time, i thought i was doing something amazing, but i wasn't.  So no more striving for perfection for me. I fucking hate housework anyway.

Perfection is unattainable - that doesn't mean you don't give your all - but it's okay to say "that's good enough" - cause when you are your hardest critic, only you can see the imperfections that other people can't.

I came home the other day and our mower man had paid us a visit.  Really he is pretty crap, but for 25 bucks, he does the job - he definitely isn't perfect, in fact, he's a bit special, and he runs over plants and puts the grass cuttings in the wrong place and how the hell he manages to miss one blade of grass in the whole yard, i have no idea.... the imperfection stands out, but if i were to only focus on that one very long piece of grass as an example, then i am only focusing on one very small piece of what can be a bigger, more beautiful picture.

Note to self:   know when to say - i have done my best, it isn't perfect, but it's okay,  i feel good about it.....and if someone is going to worry about that tiny piece of imperfection then that's their problem.

and for those people out their who only want to focus on my imperfections - then get the fuck over it.

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