4. be aware of the snowball effect of your thinking
I have decided to combine a couple of chapters - cause as i mentioned i have to fast track and these two seem to go hand in hand.
when i think back to how bad i used to feel sometimes, a lot of it was probably out of my control and of my own doing.... i don't think i really had the skills to cope with some aspects of my life - after all, i was a school drop out, pregnant teen, teen mum, divorced at 22, single mum, lived at home with my mum and step dad, then later with my nana and I just felt like a total dud, oh and there was a bit of anger as well.... plus sprinkle that with panic attacks and anxiety and i was a super failure - a non achiever. But in hindsight, i wouldn't be the person i am today without having lived all those experiences.
I think i was about 27 when things came to a head for me, but it wasn't really until i was in my early 30's that it started to feel really good. I started to develop me - my personality, my style, my spirit, my warmth, a somewhat outgoing personality and once i took a look at my life, i started to achieve - i was gentle and kind and i was making my way one sparkle at a time.
Maybe this is what Dick is talking about - you can make things happen by doing it in a graceful caring way. when i felt anger, fear and annoyance, i didn't achieve much. when i let go and opened my mind to what i needed to change i went for it and i achieved the things that i wanted to.
Who do you think has the best outlook here?
Look at Kermy - he likes everyone, he is friendly, he is an achiever, he is quietly confident, he has a best friend, he left the swamp and went in search of his dreams, he looks happy, and he is graceful. He does have a very determined pig trying to get into his froggy pants, but he is in control of the situation - and in a good way. Kermy acknowledges that he was one tadpole in a swamp of thousands - just like me (sort of) and it's what you do to make you a better tadpole that counts.
Now, what about Oscar the Grouch - he might look like he has a smile on his face, but he doesn't seem like a muppet you want to be around - always complaining, getting what he wants using grouchy tactics, he doesn't like anyone or anything and i am pretty sure, his way of achieving is through fear and loathing. Deep down, he probably has some good qualities, but they are overshadowed, by the negativity that he portrays
Kermy, Oscar and I have all been victims to the snowball effect of thinking. I am a worrier - ie, my snowball just keeps getting bigger and bigger with nothing to worry about, Kermy is an optimist - his snowball is full of adventure and positive feelings and as for Oscar - well you just want to throw a freaken snowball at him and say - relax man, stop being such a cranky trashy pants and lighten up - life's not that bad!
I think i have the snowball effect of thinking in check. I still don't get too overwhelmed by much, but it comes through practice - by not sweating the small stuff - sure, i sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and have to write myself a reminder of what i need to do in the morning, but that is better than laying in bed awake and thinking about it till the sun comes up.
Note to self: Be more like Kermit the frog - it isn't easy being green, but it's better than being a misery guts. Don't be locked in the trash can way of thinking, cause there is a whole load of snow out there to play in, if you can look past the giant snowball that may be in your way.
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