Sunday 30 September 2012

break a leg

off i go
well, before i go on, i think it's important that you take a little quiz about safety on the roads in fiji.
Q1 - is it okay to talk on a mobile phone while driving, while driving at high speed, while driving at high speed in the rain?
A - no. WRONG it is essential to be able to multi task whilst driving and especially with a passenger from a foreign country.
Q2 - when approaching an overtaking lane with 2 cars in front, is it correct that you should overtake 2 cars in the lane that is reserved for the oncoming traffic?
A - no. WRONG. one must overtake to the right regardless of whether it's your lane or not. of course overtaking to the left is also perfectly acceptable.
Q3 - is it okay to overtake on a double line?
A - no. WRONG, it's encouraged and expected.
yeah, you get the picture and i was not scared, cause i was in the safety of the tiger seat covers and a fur lined dashboard
my flight was great, it was 25 minutes early and i barely had time to hand in the digiplayer before the captain let us know we were on our descent.  
when you arrive at fiji, they have very strict rules on what you can and can't bring in.  i got stopped for bringing in fake mince meat cause it had egg white in it, but was allowed to bring a dozen macarons which are pretty much all egg white.  these and 2 x 4 litres of cask wine managed to get through.  go figure.
after my jaunty taxi ride to suva, i arrived at my sister's house to find it in darkness with the guard waiting to hand me the keys to get in as the residents had to go out. and after much fumbling, i opened the door to a surprise welcome from them all.  trickers! streamers, screaming and much excitement was in order.  we headed our for a quick dinner and surely you would think that the day's adventure would be enough, but no, the fun was just about to begin.
while moving one of my suitcases, i kicked my toe which is bad, but not that bad, till i looked down and saw that half the toenail had come away from my toe. shit, i had just pulled half my toenail off and my sister and i both went hysterical, i was running around, she was running around, i was running around, she was running around hysterical we were like dogs chasing our tail and i came to rest beside the wall to the play room where i think i said 'get mum' (she was a nurse, so she would know exactly what to do) by this time, there was blood on the good pakistani rug and my sister didn't bat an eyelid, after all, it did come from pakistan and probably had worse things on it)
so then, i needed medicine, get wine, get something, get wine i was screaming and chrissy arrived with the biggest contreau and ice and the band aid box for the choice of hotwheels or star wars fixeruperers.
fortunately, nurse jenny had applied enough pressure for the nail to be somewhat reconnected with my toe and a trip to suva hospital wasn't required.
now i don't know how this whole toe thing is going to pan out, but so far it has sucked - between the dog, the kids, the table leg, it has taken a few whacks over the past couple of days and i will ask everyone to pray to the god of high heels, that my toe will be repaired in time to walk the runway and celebrate our arrival at fiji fashion week.

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