Saturday, 11 March 2017

Day 10. The core values solution

Discovering your core values

Right everyone, we are going to do a little workout. and not just any workout but some work on strengthening our core. Okay, go pop on your best gold lycra leotard and your leg warmers and let's get down to business. EVERYONE PLANK IT UP. Can you feel that working your core muscles? Oh yeah, doesn't that feel good, strengthening and improving our wellbeing and life? And we all need a strong core to provide balance and stability.
okay, get back up and relax. now that we have worked on our core muscles we get to take a look at a different type of core - our core values and how important these are in our life to provide us balance and stability and also for helping us to progress with our choice not to drink 

I've always had really strong values, and yet this book indicates that many people don't have strong values to live by and this can hinder their ability to not drink excessively.  Values have always been important to me and today I have done some mental planking and toned them up a bit.  I have worked in an industry for the past 6 years where values are paramount to underpinning our success and i live and breath these inside and outside of work and yet it seems that maybe i haven't been living my own personal values enough.

The Sobriety Equation shows us how our values, beliefs, feelings emotions and behaviours are all linked backwards and forwards and keep us either trapped in limiting beliefs or propel us to a stronger foundation.  Our lives get into harmony when we make decisions in line with our core values.
I wrote in my journal that excessive drinking and core values don't mix and highlited it in bright pink - they don't seem to be harmonious. Nothing like a cocktail that you think looks great on the menu only to find that it doesn't quite work - in fact the last cocktail i had looked like a vagina....and i much prefer a big banana to a strawberry.
So as i planked my way through this chapter, here's what the values solution showed me.

Our theme - core values.  We are moving towards being on a new automatic pilot.  We are now a third through the solution and there's a shift in my thinking and actions. We are going to strengthen our core values to put them front and centre, we looked at the sobriety equation and needed to do the maths to decide what the best answer is for our future and we have to rediscover who we are and what makes us happy and feel fulfilled and this can be done by aligning with our values. And with that, i should probably get to the core of matters - my action steps.

Action 1.  Write standout core values.
From the list in the book, write down the values that mean the most to you. What do i value? Authenticity, honesty, integrity, tolerance, safety, love, peace, dependability, caring, compassion, tolerance, respect, kindness, being present, openness, courage, fun.

In the past, who and which values have been compromised.  I chose to look at two examples.
My ex-husband, he compromised safety for me, caring, love, peace, respect, tolerance, authenticity and kindness, plus a range of others.

I had a dick of a boss once and he compromised authenticity, openness, courage, integrity, respect and being present, just to name a few.

We then had to do examples of someone who's values i really admire.
My beautiful nana.  I admired her love, caring, dependability, honesty, compassion, kindness, being present, tolerance and courage.

The other person, i shall leave anonymous, but i admire their authenticity, honesty, compassion, kindness, being present, integrity, openness, and courage.

So how have i compromised my own values when drinking?
Safety - I live a safety based lifestyle and sometimes when i have been partying, i have compromised my safety - walking home after too many drinks late at night on my own, risk of falling, potential for a drink to be spiked are a few things that come to mind. There have been some other poor choices.  I have had drinks and gone home with strangers - this is not an uncommon practice so don't get all shock face on me....i have a friend who went home with a stranger when she was pretty smashed and they have got married.  so there can be good and bad in every situation.

Love- I am all about love and when i have had a bit too much to drink am i actually living my value of loving and caring for myself?

Caring - not caring when i have gone to bed after a few too many drinks - even when i have had some fantastic nights out but i wake feeling like i have died and gone to hell. it's almost like it's a prized trophy to go and get shitface and crawl into bed with the spins and sometimes the spews and recap the funny stories and feel proud...guilty as charged.  I live and promote a healthy lifestyle. I don't smoke and i have been vegetarian for 20 year and i exercise regularly, but I am not living this value when i have gone to bed or awoken feeling less then fantastic.

Honesty - not being honest with myself when i think that feeling the way i sometimes feel after too many drink is acceptable.

Respect - I want to be respected and yet i don't respect myself enough to go hey,  is this okay?  Your should be numero uno.

Kindness - how i treat others is with so much kindness and yet, here i am doing something that hasn't been kind to myself. Is it a form of self-harming?

I am not talking about getting blotto every night, or all weekend, but i recognise that i'm not sure if this is how i want my future to be even with just having some wines at night.  I need to make decisions in line with my core values.

Action 2. Integrate your core values
we have to rewrite our vision statement to reflect our values...and re-consider our goals.
I am choosing to live my authentic life that is full of love, caring and kindness towards myself and others. My conscious living means being present and living my best life possible without needing alcohol to make it happen.

On reflection of this chapter, i certainly feel that my wellness seems to be right up their in terms of a priority.  Without wellness and good health, how can i go forward to achieve the things i want to.  It's just food for thought and i have had a lot to gobble up over the past 10 chapters.  Maybe i need to do some planking....

How was my feel good chart today?
Didn't sleep well due to my stupid cough.  Am actually feel very stressed due to the things happening at home.
Have talked to people about their own experiences with alcohol - lots of the same stories and i am feeling really happy with my decision to do this
I don't feel like alcohol
6.30pm - felt like pouring a wine. it just feels like an automated reflex, not a desire.

Oh and so many less trips to the recycle bin. i know it counted as exercise, but......

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