Thursday, 30 April 2015

DSTSS - acting graceful

56. Be grateful when your're feeling good and graceful when you're feeling bad

Of late, i feel like i am time poor for doing some of the things i love and and time rich for being able to do some of the things i love.  It's all a mad balancing act. And as i am at chapter 56 of this book i am over half way and feel like i should be sailing towards the finish line, but i am not, i am just fitting in chapters when I can and thank goodness i am not stressing over it, or i would really be sweating the small stuff. but i am determined to finish.

Moving into chapter 56 reminded me of so many things i learnt when i was having my treatment for panic attacks and the biggest thing was that they will pass and trying to force something to shift often doesn't work, but relaxing and accepting does.

So why be grateful when your're feeling good and graceful when you're feeling bad - well it's all about being in the moment and accepting that what we are feeling at any time can change, and it's how we respond that can make all the difference.
When we feel good - we feel like nothing can hold us back, the world is fantastic, everyone and everything is fantastic - LIFE IS GREAT!  And when we feel bad - then it's all shit. We feel shit, we make others feel shit and it seems that there is no joy, even to shit, so we clench up and hold on to it and that can make those feelings and the discomfort last longer.

I class myself as a very happy positive person and one who, even though i have had a period of anxiety, have never had depressive episodes that have affected my day to day life.  I have had flat times for sure, but not to the point where it has been a struggle to move forward and not appreciate what is good in my life.

So the lessons i learnt when having my treatment was that the feelings will pass. And i had bad feelings - if you have ever had a panic attack you will know - the feeling of going crazy, that you are going to faint or die or any other worse case scenario that can happen.  But over time, i began to accept, acknowledge, relax and move on.

So now, during the highs and the lows of life, i go forward with the same attitude - accept, acknowledge, relax and move on.  it just makes dealing with stuff so much easier.  And it makes it easier for those around me because they know what to expect. Maybe that's why i don't get into "bad moods" because of the skills i developed early on.

Having the ability to be able to consciously realise that it is possible to look at these moments both good and bad and embrace them with the same sense of emotion can be quite liberating, just like it was for me, when i learnt to let go of the panic.

I have thought about the analagy of quicksand for this chapter.  when we feel bad, it can feel like you are in quicksand - trapped, anxious, annoyed, frustrated, restricted and all because you may have taken a wrong step.

(inserting picture of quicksand was not possible due to number of naked women covered in mud - this is a family blog)

In the movies, people sink to their demise, but in real life, quicksand can be a bit scary, there is often an easy way out and it could even be a bit fun.

Being grateful and graceful in both good and bad times can make it an easier journey if you choose. Gracefulness is a state of being that involves manner, movement and speech, throw in a bit of kindness, warmth and care for others no matter how bad you are feeling, and dang, won't that be hard to stay pissed off.

Note to self: what do you do if you are stuck in quicksand - you relax, stay still, make a plan and stay calm, so as not to find yourself sinking further then you need to.  What can you do in the bad times - do the same as you would do in the good times, or if you were stuck in quicksand.  Step into the state of being graceful.  And if none of that works, head to the supermarket and get yourself a big pack of poise.  gotta start somewhere.

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