Sunday, 10 February 2013

pop up little weed

since we have moved to our house and are co habiting with jenny, we have a garden and quite a big one that causes everyone pleasure and pain.
jenny loves to go on long jaunts round the country or overseas for months at a time and leaves dave and i in charge of the garden with end results that are not always in the best interest of dave and i.
i am going to rank dave and i about a 5 and 3 (respectively and respectfully) out of 100 for our gardening ability which is poor i know. i am very good and watering and letting plants die, so maybe i can up my score to an 8. i actually thought i knew a bit more than dave until mum kindly pointed out yesterday that i know less then him and what we both know could fit on a piece of paper. guess we aren't going to publish any gardening books soon then.
when jenny arrived home this time, i hope she was pleasantly surprised by what we had achieved which is.
1. took artistic picture of blooming agafuckingpanthus... 
                                                                           

                 we also managed to make sure her new starghorn didn't die.  the gerbra which dave innocently ripped from its home it was sharing with another plant has even shot up again much to our delight, but resulting in him never going near it again. and  we have managed to successfully grow and pick a dragonfruit from our tree which even we were surprised to see had been secretly growing while she was away. 
so mumma's heading off on another road trip this week and we decided that perhaps we need a weed picture board for easy identification, to ensure we keep on the straight and narrow and work towards increasing our rating.  
so for anyone with the same affliction, i hope this easy to use listing, complete with botanical names, helps.
weed 1: weedus makus mumma maddus - best gotten rid of
 weed 2: weedus takus over the garden and makus mumma maddus - best gotten rid of
 weed 3: weedus mummas gonna kill us if it isn't gotten rid of - best gotten rid of
 weed 4: weedus giganticus and everywhere makus mumma maddus - best gotten rid of
 weed 5: weedus tricking to look like a flowering plant makus mumma maddus - best gotten rid of
 weed 6: weedus get the fuck out of my garden makus mumma maddus - best gotten rid of
and finally weed 7. weedus tricked ya, you think i am a tree makus mumma maddus - also best gotten rid of.
so as you can see with this easy to use guide it should be easy for everyone to have a well kept garden, free of weeds and plants but no, not for me, i am still confused.

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